after started the day in a good mood, i am now back to my down self. i cant handle feeling this shit anymore!!! i decided to finish with my girlfriend tonight. its for the best. ive got too much shit in my mind already and having a gf just adds to my paranoia. and that is not fair on her. and it turns out the feeling is mutual. so it is good that we have turned out to be good friends at the end of it all this. and although i know its for the best, i feel sad. i had such a close bond with her, and now ive lost that affection. my mind keeps going over and over all this shit thats ever happened to me. practically every person ive ever known has run me into the ground and hurt me so much. i dont think i have anything left inside of me to crush anymore. im empty. there is nothing to me. i have nothing left to give the world.