Just go to sleep already...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Freya, Oct 17, 2013.

  1. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    ... and then it will not matter that you are alone and cold in a place where the only other people to have set foot inside in 6 months have been professionals there to do a job. Wake up in the morning and make sure to set the alarm late enough that there is no time for thought while you rush to get ready for work, lest you dwell on the fact for a moment that you have woken up alone again - that alone is the same way you have woken up every day of your 32 years. Ignore the cold emptiness of your flat and go to work.

    Work - make sure you do more than anyone else and are very very helpful - ensure you over achieve and go far beyond the call of duty - so that you can fool yourself that you are important in some very small way. 'Forget' your phone, leaving it at home so it does not matter that it does not ring or receive a message - does not matter that the only text messages so far this month are bill reminders.

    Keep busy. Do not allow yourself to notice that time once spent in intimate conversation is now devoid of affection. Do not allow yourself to think of physical intimacy at all lest you recall that you have not had so much as a hug in over a year. Pretend to be happy for the people telling you how they will be spending their weekends with friends and family, husbands and boyfriends. Stay late and pretend that is the reason for the issues in your relationship and the reason you do not have any friends to speak of.

    Get home as late as possible. Get into bed. Go into chat and pretend that the people there who do not know/remember your real name or know a single thing about your life are a valid substitute for friendship. Sleep.

    Spend as much of the weekend as possible asleep. Pretend that things can get better.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Sounds so much luck me hun god i am sorry you are so alone but this place here people do care it has what kept me here please know that ok although we don't know you in person we do know you through your words here
  3. Cariad_Bach

    Cariad_Bach Staff Alumni

    Oh, Freya.. My friend.. Sending you warm and loving thoughts. How I wish I could do away with your sadness and fill your life with all the things you long for. I hear your pain. You are not alone.

  4. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Hi Freya, I do relate to some of what you write about. The lack of human contact. The phone that sometimes doesnt ring for days on end. No hug. It is so very painful. I am sorry you expereince that. No one should. No one.