just goin on about nothin... don't even read

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Built_up_rage, Jul 5, 2008.

  1. Built_up_rage

    Built_up_rage New Member

    Well this is my first post and I figured this is the best place for it... Well to start, I'm pretty damn ugly. That alone can make things difficult since people love to point it out and pick at it constantly... I'm naturally drawn to things that other people find weird and I'm constantly insulted for that too... I have been called the anti-christ, and I'm not even sure why. I don't do anything bad and I try my best to be nice... but no one wants to be around me. I've never hurt anyone, but going down the halls at school I can hear them whispering "Don't go near him. He'll probably kills us all." I like scary movies, and the music I listen to is violent, but I'm not that way.

    There are some people who will talk to me, but no one who can say is a real friend. I'm the one they talk to when there is no one else... and don't talk at all outside of school. I've never had a gf and I'm halfway through high school. I'm alone all the time... Whether its at school, or even at home by my family, I'm called strange at my every flaw is pointed out. My mom is probably the worst... doesn't remember my birthday sometimes, calls me by my brother's name, treats me like I'm an idiot when she knows damn well my IQ is much higher than hers...

    I did good in school, but never got credit. My grades weren't even noticed till I started making D's and F's and the school started calling my house.

    I've come to hate people... as well as myself... I not only dream of killing myself, but them too. It seems a dangerous thing... And it worries me... My only interaction with people is online. It seems online, when people don't know me and can't see me... when I can talk to them like that, I'm very well liked. Is it because I have a good personality when given a chance? Or are people just more friendly online? idk... The only time a person (outside of my family) has told me they love me is online. The people I've found are so kind... and I've talked to them on the phone as well. I get happy talking to them, but I know that can't last... and when I log off, I once again realize I'm alone...

    I know this is nothing compared to other people's problems and it sounds like I'm just whining about little stuff... but these little things seem so big to me...
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Well first of all :welcome:

    It doesn't matter how big or small things may seem to other people, only you know how it affects you, and if you are hurting than it is worth talking about :hug:

    I've found much better friends online as well. People do give you a chance, and are less judgemental. Especially places like this!

    You also say you like things that most people find weird. I know you've probably heard this but, just stay true to yourself. Who cares what other people think? If they judge you, it just means that they are not ok with themselves. I've seen that when people see something different, a lot of times they are jealous. They are jealous of that person's freedom of expression. Kind of like "If I have to sacrifice myself to fit in, why should this guy get to express himself?" It's like a subconcious thing I think. Anyway, I'm sure there are other reasons, but I found that to be the case most of the time.

    PM me if you ever need to talk. Hope to see you post around here some more :biggrin:
  3. Lady Byron

    Lady Byron Well-Known Member

    I totally agree with fromthatshow. Don't worry about what other people think and the people here are totally great and I've even found that you can make some pretty great friends. So what if you're weird. What is normal? This will be really hypocritical coming from my mouth, but just be happy being who you are. If you ever need a friend to talk to, PM me anytime and I'm totally dead serious about that :biggrin:. Oh, and WELCOME to SF!! Hope you like it here :laugh:.
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to SF. People can be so superficial. Looks do not make the person. What counts is who they are on the inside. Try not to let what others think get to you. You know who you are.