Well this is my first post and I figured this is the best place for it... Well to start, I'm pretty damn ugly. That alone can make things difficult since people love to point it out and pick at it constantly... I'm naturally drawn to things that other people find weird and I'm constantly insulted for that too... I have been called the anti-christ, and I'm not even sure why. I don't do anything bad and I try my best to be nice... but no one wants to be around me. I've never hurt anyone, but going down the halls at school I can hear them whispering "Don't go near him. He'll probably kills us all." I like scary movies, and the music I listen to is violent, but I'm not that way.
There are some people who will talk to me, but no one who can say is a real friend. I'm the one they talk to when there is no one else... and don't talk at all outside of school. I've never had a gf and I'm halfway through high school. I'm alone all the time... Whether its at school, or even at home by my family, I'm called strange at my every flaw is pointed out. My mom is probably the worst... doesn't remember my birthday sometimes, calls me by my brother's name, treats me like I'm an idiot when she knows damn well my IQ is much higher than hers...
I did good in school, but never got credit. My grades weren't even noticed till I started making D's and F's and the school started calling my house.
I've come to hate people... as well as myself... I not only dream of killing myself, but them too. It seems a dangerous thing... And it worries me... My only interaction with people is online. It seems online, when people don't know me and can't see me... when I can talk to them like that, I'm very well liked. Is it because I have a good personality when given a chance? Or are people just more friendly online? idk... The only time a person (outside of my family) has told me they love me is online. The people I've found are so kind... and I've talked to them on the phone as well. I get happy talking to them, but I know that can't last... and when I log off, I once again realize I'm alone...
I know this is nothing compared to other people's problems and it sounds like I'm just whining about little stuff... but these little things seem so big to me...
There are some people who will talk to me, but no one who can say is a real friend. I'm the one they talk to when there is no one else... and don't talk at all outside of school. I've never had a gf and I'm halfway through high school. I'm alone all the time... Whether its at school, or even at home by my family, I'm called strange at my every flaw is pointed out. My mom is probably the worst... doesn't remember my birthday sometimes, calls me by my brother's name, treats me like I'm an idiot when she knows damn well my IQ is much higher than hers...
I did good in school, but never got credit. My grades weren't even noticed till I started making D's and F's and the school started calling my house.
I've come to hate people... as well as myself... I not only dream of killing myself, but them too. It seems a dangerous thing... And it worries me... My only interaction with people is online. It seems online, when people don't know me and can't see me... when I can talk to them like that, I'm very well liked. Is it because I have a good personality when given a chance? Or are people just more friendly online? idk... The only time a person (outside of my family) has told me they love me is online. The people I've found are so kind... and I've talked to them on the phone as well. I get happy talking to them, but I know that can't last... and when I log off, I once again realize I'm alone...
I know this is nothing compared to other people's problems and it sounds like I'm just whining about little stuff... but these little things seem so big to me...
