Re; current issue
Hey i'm not too internet savvy, so i hope you can fumble through my response. I have no clue how to quote your prior convo.
Okay. Remember, i don't possess all the info you do, and if you have provided this info to me, forgive me if i've misplaced it in my head. Anyway, is it in three days you lose your internet? If so, let's talk privately, I'm tapped out feeding/assisting people but i may know a resource for you (or perhaps someone here has the resources and kind heart to assist). It's not a hand out. You basically will pay it forward once you are solid on your feet, or by way of working on that vision of yours. So let's connect today, okay? Yeah? Maybe? I'm not trying to tell you what to do, never would do that to you, I just don't want you to lose hope, not yet. I can still see some for you, even if you cannot. ...and hey, from one person with vision to another, we need to support those working to improve things, in whatever ways we can.
Oh, and let me state up front, anything you share with me will be kept private. Ultimately you make your own decisions. I''m not going to interfere in that, I have clear boundaries. Let's try?
Also, i have a lot going on here, so don't think i've forgotten about you if you don't hear from me right away, likely i am juggling as quickly as i can. I actually have quite a mess going on myself. It's okay though.
Re; illegal activity
I've been there myself. I've always tried to maintain clear boundaries about things, and at times when there are so many needing help, and my personal resources are few, at those times (even now), I too have toyed with ideas/thoughts, my mind has wandered dipping into the potentially not so up and up ways that I could gain further resources to assist someone. I won't do that, but my head has surely gone there. Sigh, i guess i should not say i won't do that...if someone has a desperate need for food/shelter/warm clothing/medical i don't know what i would do but i suspect their need would weigh heavily on a decision based on what is right and what is wrong. For instance how right is it, for someone to suffer hunger or lack of urgent medical care compared too... Black and White thinking just doesn't apply in such circumstances.
These times are trying for so many people. I would never blame anyone in this current state of affairs, for delving in some light form of illegal activity (as long as it hurts no one), in an effort to feed, shelter, continue themselves etc. Cannot judge a person for going there. It's sad they become that pressured, and trust me, i have seen it all, and all i feel is compassion towards those who do find themselves in that position. If someone is eating cat food (and yes i know ppl who do) how can I judge them lifting a head of broccoli? (and to everyone, NO, this is not open to debate so do not engage me in one)
Re; Your Vision/working towards it
Look, i don't know if it is to my tastes or not, usually a vision has a particular audience or target population or group. It really does not matter whether i am part of that population, as there are others for you to reach. If your vision is going to help refocus people, so they may begin to actively work on the real issues, actively do something, i suspect i would be supportive of your efforts. So few people have any vision, any passion, any motivations, that i find it important and worthwhile to encourage anyone who actually does. Anyone who actually cares and is willing to put forth the effort to do something, is worthy of our support. Does not have to jive with my personal agenda. It does sound interesting though. It takes a lot of work, it's often slow getting there, but it is surely worth the efforts.
Hey, most of the people i know who have started something, have had rough times. i can tell you story after story of this. They struggle to get there but it's usually worth the efforts. It's a process, often slow, but enjoy the trip, even the down parts as they will be there. I don't think it has anything to do with whether you are smart enough, this economy is bad.
It's rough and I do believe you when you say you were dealt a crappy hand (gentle hug), and i too have been there. Hey, it was never easy for me either (nor is it currently), nor for many i know who have gone on to contribute in some way. It is often a heavy burden and struggle, but most definitely worth the effort. Oftentimes the experience is worth the effort. Also, your vision may change or evolve over time as well, i hope you can find a way to enjoy the process and at various points, when you stop to reflect, I hope you can say; It's been worth it. A caution not to set everything in stone either, as i don't want to see you set yourself up to later bash yourself. Be gentle (and flexible) with you.
Yeah, some people get stuck, but others fight like hell to continue despite odds stacked against them. some thrive, others fail, cannot make that judgement or make assumptions until one struggles heavily and works like hell to get there (and it sounds like you have been working hard). It's worth the struggle. The fight. A lot has to do with drive. So much i could say or share with you i just don't know which direction to go except right now, to focus on the immediate need, the immediate issue.
I think uploading them to the internet is an excellent idea. I'd hate to see you toss away your work and resources. I truly don't wish to see you do that to yourself.
Re; Being okay
I'd hate to see you leave here. There are good folks here and there are some who can understand what you are saying/experiencing. Also, it can be a decent place to at least get some of your thoughts out, perhaps some of the frustration. The diary section is decent for this as well. I hope you don't toss away all these good folks here. You don't have to agree with everything they say, and some may not understand, but most will try too, just keep in mind their hearts are usually in the right place, and i think that is very important. I understand it can be frustrating though.