If I am working this hard and still can't pay for school I just don't see the point. I hate that I can't get out anymore loans, and that ONLY thing I ever wanted, the ONLY thing I worked so hard for, for so many years, is slowly being taken away from me. I deserve this more than anyone, nobody works as hard as I do to get my excellent grades, and make my excellent connections with professors and other important people in the field. Nobody else seems to have to spend everyday running from class, to the research lab, to work. I am so busy, but if all of that stops I will have enough time to think, and I won't be able to avoid anything anymore, I will die. It may seem stupid but these are the things keeping me alive, if they are taken away from me I might as well use that needle to inject an air bubble into my vein, or just drink myself to death. I need this money, I would do anything for it.