just got back from financial services

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Alyssa88, Mar 12, 2007.

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  1. Alyssa88

    Alyssa88 Active Member

    If I am working this hard and still can't pay for school I just don't see the point. I hate that I can't get out anymore loans, and that ONLY thing I ever wanted, the ONLY thing I worked so hard for, for so many years, is slowly being taken away from me. I deserve this more than anyone, nobody works as hard as I do to get my excellent grades, and make my excellent connections with professors and other important people in the field. Nobody else seems to have to spend everyday running from class, to the research lab, to work. I am so busy, but if all of that stops I will have enough time to think, and I won't be able to avoid anything anymore, I will die.

    It may seem stupid but these are the things keeping me alive, if they are taken away from me I might as well use that needle to inject an air bubble into my vein, or just drink myself to death. I need this money, I would do anything for it.
  2. Robin

    Robin Guest

    Hi Alyssa, I'm sorry you're having money troubles, not to get too nerdy on you but I like Star Trek's vision of a moneyless society, where people who have the motivation are free to chase their dreams and learning becomes a joy and an art and people are driven to improve not just because it will pad their pocket, sounds like a nice life anyway.

    Sometimes we have a heart so steadfastly set on something that we cannot see the positives in our natures, you sound industrious and driven, the sort of person that could achieve alot if given the chance. I really hope it works out for you what you are doing now but if it doesn't pls do not give up hope, people like you wil always have a place in the world, even if they find themselves outside a utopian civilisation :hug:
  3. Dave303

    Dave303 Well-Known Member

    Hi Alyssa, sorry to hear you are having troubles. But you have already put in so much work and you do seem closer to your goals. Perhaps it's a case where you think everything is bad but the race is almost over and soon you'll be across the finish line. You said you made good connections and you're in research. Maybe financially something will come up to help you out, you just have to stick with it!
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