Just got out of the hospital

So, I just spent three days in inpatient. Still trying to figure things out, but I guess am just needing some support right now. I'm panicking. I dunno. Everything feels worse now that I'm out, like I got a good swift kick in the ass from reality (my phone got disconnected, I don't even have my stuff - like clean clothes). They were supposed to call in my prescriptions, but the pharmacy isn't showing them, and with no phone wtf am I supposed to do?

Sorry, I dunno. Every single thing seems too overwhelming. I feel like a 5 year old alone in the mall. Lost and scared. I just want to go home. Back to family. I don't think I can do it anymore, and especially not alone.

 

Thanks @Petal. I dunno. I think I'm gonna see about going to get my stuff tonight. Trying to see if the meds are ready in a few. You all have been great, it's just a lot and overwhelming right now. And it seems like it just keeps coming. Like a dammed energizer bunny of more stuff to have to deal with. Anyways, I'll be back later. Gotta go get those meds (hopefully)

 

Sotired, sorry to hear about the run around, that is the last thing any of us want to deal with in our situation. Keep your spirits up and try to find the brightness.

 

I hope you're able to get what you need. Keep us updated. We are always here

 

Hey there Sotired, sorry to hear all the problems on leaving the hospital. The Hospital should have made sure your medications were at the pharmacy for your discharge that's kinda Number #1 but as usual no one takes the responsibility to follow through. Try and relax and work on the prescription problem first, maybe borrow a phone or see if the pharmacy people will give you some help to resolve this.....explain the situation if you have too. Hopefully you'll find someone there with compassion.
Yes, you are in hospital for a few days and it seems everything falls apart, we live in such an impersonal society.
I hope everything gets better for you, take care of yourself
Brian

 

Yeah, got to the pharmacy. Yikes. God damn I just want to be able to do something as simple as walk to the store without panicking. They had some of my meds at least, and the rest will be ready tomorrow. Thanks everyone. I think I'm gonna see about heading home Friday morning. It'll be a long trip (bus), but I think the smartest thing I can do is go be around family and in a familiar place. I can't keep pushing off all this crap, gotta deal with it so that I can maybe see some sunlight in my life again. Really just thanks. The support means the world to me.

 

Sounds like a good plan, I have anxiety too and it's overwhelming at times, others don't know how it feels unless they've been there. Glad you got the meds fixed up, that's a plus and get home around family and support. Take care my friend.
Brian

 

Have you got a plan for the rest of the day and evening?

 

Not for now. Been trying to get home. Bank refuses to allow me to overdraft, so now I'm basically having to beg money from my parents. I'm really starting to loose it again. I dunno. I've got to get away from everything, get help. I feel like I can't continue this way. Cripes, I feel like I'm gonna end up right back in the hospital again, and I don't want to do that.

I just wish I understood why. Why do I feel all the anxiety, all the panic attacks, all for little things that shouldn't be such a big deal. But everything is a major issue, everything is some giant failing on my part, and I am the unending disappointment to everyone I'm around. Plans - plans are something that people with their head together make - I'm lucky most days to talk myself into functioning. And I'm really tired of just functioning.

Sorry. Been a very long day. Was really hoping to be on the bus this morning. Still stuck, still staying with a friend, and feel even worse for that being the situation. I don't know what to do, where to turn, and every decision seems like the one that's going to put me over the edge.

 

Hi Sotired, I can sure relate to the anxiety and panic attacks, I've dealt with them all my life and they stop you from doing so much. I hope you're able to get help to get home, at least there you'll have some support and can work on getting yourself back together. Wish I had some advice on how to handle the panic/anxiety, I usually just have to get away from everyone/everything until it subsides and I can function again. Take care of yourself and good luck with getting back home.
Brian

 

Thanks Brian. I'm okay for the moment, and I think that's all I really can ask for. I just wish I didn't feel so useless. After all, the helpless seems to fold into the anxiety, into the helpless, into that unending cycle of bad thoughts. But thanks for the support.

 

Yeh I know, I get angry at myself for not being able to do things that others can. It's tough being different from the "normal" people. Take care
Brian