just got out of the hospital...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lemonyjuice, Mar 12, 2009.

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  1. lemonyjuice

    lemonyjuice Member

    and I felt suicidal almost as soon as I got home. I was there for a few days and my mood was so good they said I could go home and come back next week for an appointment. What a joke.

    As soon as I walk in the door, my husband started getting on my case because I should've insisted on staying and because he emailed my doctor insisting that I have borderline personality disorder and my doctor (nor my psychiatrist) doesn't agree with him. He then went through this list he printed off the internet saying he and his mom went over all the reasons I had bpd while I was in the hospital.

    Ugh. Why do I even bother? I have two kids (2 years and 10 months). I keep thinking that if I commit suicide soon enough my husband can get a new wife and raise them like normal people. I don't even know what he wants from me. I was crying within minutes of walking int the door and my 2 year old son was imitating me and telling my husband that "mommy's crying." I can't handle this. I'm messing up my kids and my husband thinks I'm a psycho.
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Never mind what your husbands thinks or wants. Do YOU think you would benefitted from staying in hospital? Do You think you have a mental health issue? I just recently got out of hospital too and heard almost the same things from my family members. But I dont think staying would of changed anything for me. Maybe a nice break for a bit but the things at home and in my life would still be there whether I stayed or not. If you think after hearing what your husband researched on the net could apply to you, then discuss it with your doc at that appointment next week. If not then maybe it's just the stress of it all. Then it would be about high time your husband and his mom started taking the kids at scheduled times each week so that you can get out and do just for YOU! I know everyting seems hopeless and is pulling you down but please hang on.
  3. lemonyjuice

    lemonyjuice Member

    My husband is insisting on a more thorough psychoanalysis of my problems, which is fine. He's convinced I have BPD, but I don't think so and neither does my doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist. I'm willing to take the test and have all of us talk about it with the psychiatrist.

    Ugh... I feel better now. I just couldn't believe the stress of just walking in the door and my husband's furious with the doctor and mad at me for coming home too early and telling me I have bpd. Ugh.
  4. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Glad you're feeling better now. Yep must of felt like opening the door to walk head first into a brick wall!!!! But I'm glad you were able to post and get past it hun. So where are you going to go the next time you find that wall? Here I hope to vent and get it all out. Feel free to pm anytime you need to.
  5. christian_1990

    christian_1990 Well-Known Member

    please relax focus on raising your children and sorting out problems with your partner....mainly relax do not stress your self
  6. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Does your husband have a professional degree??? I think not because if he did he would know the support and caring you would need at that time...it sounds like you can also use a good hug...please consider this a cyber hug! know you are worth being cared for and that it is very difficult to adjust to being home even with a lot of support...also, please continue to post here and let us know how you are doing...J
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