Just had a fight with my dad :(

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Summer.Rain, Jan 6, 2009.

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  1. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Damn i feal so bad about myself and its like im balming myself in everything
    while i know that i shouldt becouse it was my dads fould about why
    i got all my mental issues, i mean he kicked me out of the house when i was 18
    sure he took care of me, he found me a place to live and provided me with money
    but i felt so abandont and my dad just dont undarstand it
    he thinks that he done everything right becose he gave me money and all that crap
    his whole life all he ever gave me was completly material
    i never felt any love and i always felt alone
    and today i got so many issues becouse of that
    i dont know why but i really want to cry every time i remember my teens
    today my dad told me that im so worhtless that he takes care of me
    and that i should respect him for that and that he brings all the money
    to the house and that all i do is spending his money
    and i told him that if its bothering him so much soon ill be gone
    and he will never see me again, and somehow i ment it
    im looking for a job now and then i hope to rent an appartmant
    and to leave the house forever.
    but from my expiriance i cant really work and im afraid i wount be able
    to do what i want, to go on with my plans and it makes me feel so worthless! :(
     
  2. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Have you tried explaining to your dad how you feel?
     
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    No one understands mental illness completely unless they are ill also! I don't tell anyone outside of the forum jackshit!! I live with my sister, in her house and she knows nothing about what is going on with me. She has tried to be sneaky and to get me talking about it but I was wise to her!! For what it's worth why not sit him down and explain it to him. Or write your feelings down and let him read what you have written. By the way hows the relationship with your new gal going? Take Care!!~Joseph~
     
  4. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    my dad is the most unimptional person on the planet
    im not sure he even know what imotions are...
    And even if im trying to expalin things to him.. its like talking to a wall
     
  5. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    I never told my parents about anything that is going on with me
    actualy i usally tend to hide things by nature so i wount be able to tell mt dad
    anything all i can do is just leave and never come back.
    And my g\f well we got problems in there too... she got issues with sex
    and for me i cant servive really without sex
     
  6. levitated-one

    levitated-one Well-Known Member

    Hey,

    I'm the same age as you, and I used to have these problems with my dad.. never really chat with him about anything. All he does is command me to do this and that, if I disagree I'll get beaten. Even if I do simple mistake I'll get beaten.

    I lived away from him for 6 years.. but now I've moved to live with my parents as a family again as they just migrated to where I am..and bought a new house. Part of the reason why is also I cannot support myself due to depression and other issues with my life.

    The damage is already done.. but now it's up to us to undo the damage lol.. such is life..
     
  7. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    They could possibly understand if your more open to them.

    I do agree it's hard for people to understand how another person is suffering.

    What's keeping you from working etc I understand if you don't want to go into more detail?
     
  8. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Well i dont really know why i cant keep working in one place for more then a week or 2 but i think it have something to do with that i cant cope with stress...
    Every time i work i start feeling weak, plus if i keep forcing myself it starts
    to effect me phisycly and i even getting ill.
     
  9. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    That doesn't sound very pleasant. Are you on any type of medication?
     
  10. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Yeah im on a nice med for the past 3 moths or so
    i havnt tryed to work yet on this med though
    tommorow i have a job interview which makes me very stressed
    i was down today for the whole day
    i only hope it will get better tommorow
     
  11. Lesha

    Lesha New Member

    Hey Rain, I don't have much to say, just hope you feel better and your interview works out good.

    Just thinking outloud: my parents are officially insane, so it wasn't fun talking to them either, in a sense of getting support and understanding, but it still made a huge difference when I started to talk to them openly about how I feel. They reacted the same, but I felt much more freedom. Less hiding, less fear, less self-worthlessness. I'd just tell them openly, like, dad, I'm mad at you because of this and that, even though I'm grateful because of this and that, and, well, this is just how I feel, my feelings are valid, this is where I stand. Somehow this made me feel stronger, though it changed absolutely nothing on the outside, I still got the same reaction. Somehow it gave me closure, I don't know. Hope it helps. Either way, hope things work out.

    (((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))
     
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