I feel I've always had an underlying depression, it seems that whenever I get over one hurdle there's always another one there to hit me. All my life I was always quite overweight and as a kid that never fares well so spent a good 16 years of my life being ridiculed by other kids for being fat, that takes a lot out of you. However, the main event for me that triggered these 'negative' thoughts was when I was 9 my father passed away, it was in the circumstances that he passed away that shook me most - he died suddenly from a stroke, and I feel partially responsible for his death as I feel that if I had done something earlier, he might still be here today. This event put me into a deep depression and at the age of 10 I did try and take an overdose but failed; I did have counselling after this but never found it to be effective, instead it led me to bury my problems even deeper. Although I overcame a massive rock last summer by losing the weight, I still have people against me now and it's just getting worse. It seems no matter what I do I will never be accepted it is those few, plus my past experience, which just leaves me wanting to end it all after a bad day like today. I feel so trapped, I just don't know what to do or where to go anymore.