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Just had enough

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by anonymous_11, Jun 9, 2010.

  1. anonymous_11

    anonymous_11 New Member

    I feel I've always had an underlying depression, it seems that whenever I get over one hurdle there's always another one there to hit me. All my life I was always quite overweight and as a kid that never fares well so spent a good 16 years of my life being ridiculed by other kids for being fat, that takes a lot out of you. However, the main event for me that triggered these 'negative' thoughts was when I was 9 my father passed away, it was in the circumstances that he passed away that shook me most - he died suddenly from a stroke, and I feel partially responsible for his death as I feel that if I had done something earlier, he might still be here today. This event put me into a deep depression and at the age of 10 I did try and take an overdose but failed; I did have counselling after this but never found it to be effective, instead it led me to bury my problems even deeper. Although I overcame a massive rock last summer by losing the weight, I still have people against me now and it's just getting worse. It seems no matter what I do I will never be accepted it is those few, plus my past experience, which just leaves me wanting to end it all after a bad day like today. I feel so trapped, I just don't know what to do or where to go anymore.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey it is good you came here to talk You were too young to do anything for your dad His stroke would have happened no matter what you did. It must have been so heartbreaking for you to loose your father at such a young age. You cannot be blamed for something medical that happened it just wasn't your fault. I know the bad days tend to push us under even more than we are but that is when you need to talk to someone okay A teacher phone your doctor make another appt to see a real therapist to help you with depression and grieve okay You don't have to do this alone get some professional help okay a psychologist who will help those scars heal inside abit. Hope you continue to reach out here and to the people around you so you can start healing don't hold it in it will only cause you more sadness.