just back from a week on the psych ward. took myself there last friday since i was feeling overwhelmingly suicidal and was scared i'd act on my feelings. now i'm suicidal again. it helped when i was there, when i was supervised and not left to my own thoughts, with the drs and nurses intervening regularly but now that i'm home alone again it's hard to shake these thoughts. i was diagnosed with ptsd this trip to the hospital and put on new medication for it. that on top of being bipolar. i feel like i can't win. that i'm never going to get better. that i am fighting a losing battle. i don't know how to change my thoughts. i don't know how to escape. i am so frightened. does this ever end?