just home from the hospital

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by dazzle11215, Sep 18, 2010.

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  1. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    just back from a week on the psych ward. took myself there last friday since i was feeling overwhelmingly suicidal and was scared i'd act on my feelings.

    now i'm suicidal again. it helped when i was there, when i was supervised and not left to my own thoughts, with the drs and nurses intervening regularly but now that i'm home alone again it's hard to shake these thoughts.

    i was diagnosed with ptsd this trip to the hospital and put on new medication for it. that on top of being bipolar. i feel like i can't win. that i'm never going to get better. that i am fighting a losing battle. i don't know how to change my thoughts. i don't know how to escape.

    i am so frightened. does this ever end?
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Keep fighting dazzle. :hug:
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    When I feel like this, I tell myself that these are just thoughts and I can think something else...then I consciously put something else in my thoughts to show I have some control...it does take the stink out and lets me have a rest...hope you too can find a way to feel more in control...big hugs, J
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Well done for going to hospital...maybe they haven't quite got the meds right
    don't give up..
    can you call the hospital and talk to the doc?
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    meds will take time to get full effect so once they hit that point you should start to feel better. Call crisis just talking to someone helps quiet mind down a bit okay good your coming here and getting the thoughts out too. Breath slow breaths okay yes things will get better.
  6. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    thanks everyone. my friend has offered to take me back to the hospital if i like but i am being stubborn about it. i want to fight this on my own. thanks for reminding me that meds take a while to kick in, i'd forgotten. and about the crisis line, i have the phone number at hand i was just shy about calling. i guess i am embarassed that it has come this far. but i think i will give them a try.
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey "C", Go back to the hospital and tell them they let you out too soon.. Tell them about your thoughts..Your meds aren't working yet and you are vulnerable.. Take care!!
  8. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    If you don't want to head back to the hospital, maybe you can spend the period with someone who will at least make sure that you don't do anything until you begin feelin better.
  9. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i have to take the subway to get around to my different appointments. i want to jump. i am overwhelmed with the thought of jumping. i am scared but know it will be over in an instance. still frightened....
  10. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    good advice from adam....is it possible to have someone go with you to your appointments...hold on till those meds work ...please
  11. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    Oh yes, I know this feeling. Everytime I ride the skytrain, I watch it come in and contemplate leaping in front of it.

    Of course, I never have... Guess we just have to force ourselves not to, each time.
  12. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    One thing to consider is that you know yourself more than any doctor ever will. You know yourself inside and out. A diagnosis is not going to change who you are, and it is just for the purpose of assigning medication which may or may not help you. Diagnoses get jumbled up, and they become fads as one is popular now an another will be popular in ten years. You know yourself. Hug yourself because you can. Talk to yourself if you want. Do whatever you want, because nobody else has that kind of control. Bless you.
  13. Juliaa

    Juliaa Well-Known Member

    I would say staying in the psych ward for longer maybe a month, would do you good.
  14. SuicidalAgain

    SuicidalAgain Well-Known Member

    It can sound kind of pathetic, but something drew me to the front of a mirror when I was going to do it, and I started talking to myself and I felt better. It's like there are different people inside of me.
    You could try that, I find it very therapeutic. Also, whenever you go to a book store, you should browse the self help section, it did me good.
  15. Confused and Lost

    Confused and Lost Well-Known Member

    It does nto sound stupid anything that can keep someone from commiting suicide is not pathetic. :) x
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