all i want to do is die rite now. i hate y life soo much. i don't even want to go to collge next year.... i fucking hate it. am a senior in high school. i have been swimming for 4 years, i play football and hockey for fun. i want to play tennis next year in college. i lifeguard and teach swim lessons for my job. i am good at archery but my college doesn't have a team for that (i wish they did). my grades suck right now. i have a 2.8 g.p.a. cumulative. i am flunking one class close to flunking 2 of them. i have a C- in one class and a c in another class. i never want to do my homework. all i want to do is sleep all the time. my dad and stepmom don't get along very well with each other. my sister is 17 she is havong a kid that is due the same day i leave for school next year, she is getting married and moving out on june 6th this year. i told one of my bosses at work, Matt, that i am depressed. my other boss took me to my doctor and my doc. put me on lexipro but 2 days later i passed out and had a seizure at work so he took me off it for now. the meds didn't make me pass out and have a seizure something else did since i had one before i was on the meds. they don't know y i passed out yet though... my dad says that i don't need to be put on medicine for my depression. should i tell matt that i want to die too? i would tell him but then i would be put in the hospital and when i would get out it would be all hell at home. my doc. doesn't kno y i had a seiaure at work...no therapy- they would tell my parents that i wannna kill myself and then i would be in trouble. i'd tell my boss, whon is laso oine of my best friensd, Matt, that i wanna die but i don't wanna get in trouble and get sent to the hospital and if that would happene it would be all hell at home when i would get out of the hospital. that and i don't wanna scare him.... he is 26. i am 18.