I've ignored suicide for the past few days. I refused to think about it for a day, only cried once. The second day I was almost manic, forcing myself to try and be "normal", the way I use to be when I was happy, laughing, making jokes, hanging out with the people at work, just like old times... yeah right! Today it's more like a numbness. My body is tired, my mind is weary. The tears are all dried up, I don't even have the energy to cry anymore. Last night when I said my prayers, I didn't ask for anything. Surely HE's tired of hearing it because I'm tired of asking. I'm not any better, nothing has changed, I'm in limbo. I don't wanna be that suicidal girl anymore, but there's no way back to the happy person I once was. It all hinges on one thing. How can I find the courage I need when I'm too much of a coward to even face myself in the mirror? I'm hopeless. Tonight I just want to die.