just kinda numb

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by LostGirl32, Oct 29, 2010.

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  1. LostGirl32

    LostGirl32 Member

    I've ignored suicide for the past few days. I refused to think about it for a day, only cried once. The second day I was almost manic, forcing myself to try and be "normal", the way I use to be when I was happy, laughing, making jokes, hanging out with the people at work, just like old times... yeah right! Today it's more like a numbness. My body is tired, my mind is weary. The tears are all dried up, I don't even have the energy to cry anymore. Last night when I said my prayers, I didn't ask for anything. Surely HE's tired of hearing it because I'm tired of asking. I'm not any better, nothing has changed, I'm in limbo. I don't wanna be that suicidal girl anymore, but there's no way back to the happy person I once was. It all hinges on one thing. How can I find the courage I need when I'm too much of a coward to even face myself in the mirror? I'm hopeless. Tonight I just want to die.
  2. Usernametaken

    Usernametaken New Member

    It'll be okay. :) hang in there. Things can get rough sometimes, but they are always temporary. Don't hurt yourself, whatever you do. Do something insted to take your mind off of it, even if it's sleeping. That will hopefully give you some time to think things through and see how important you are to everyone.
  3. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    What help are you getting at the moment? Are you on any meds or getting any kind of therapy?
    I ask because your mood swings are cycling too quickly. You're not going to be able to deal with anything when that happens. Not even looking in a mirror.
    You need to get them under control again before you can even begin to think about coping.
    Getting them under control again is difficult without help. Can you go and see your doctor?
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    It is very frightening to not be able to find one's self...I know that first hand...please know we are here for you and also, please PM me and let me know how you are doing...J
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