Just lonely....

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Ferret, Mar 24, 2009.

  1. Ferret

    Ferret Well-Known Member

    Hi everyone,

    I've been using this forum for quite some time but this is my first post.

    Last August my ex girlfriend decided to leave me because she had to much of an "emotional rollercoaster" and that she never felt so alone in a relationship before than ours. She just wanted to be friends. I just couldn't do that to myself, and soon I found out she was with someone else. I became extremely depressed because I felt useless that I couldn't keep together this relationship. It was long distance. Every weekend or second weekend I would drive to her house which was an hour and a half outside of the city. I made excuses at my work so I could take time off to spend with her. But she said I wasn't there for her emotionally. She would get upset about what her other ex's did to her and I didn't know how to handle that. Maybe she was a bit insecure but I always feel like I could have did something to save this relationship, rather than getting mad enough at the end for her to disappear from my life. This was my first relationship, the only time I've ever felt wanted and loved by anyone outside my family. I'm 24 years old. Many of my friends have been in numerous relationships and they have enough experience to be able to handle new ones normally. I feel so useless, so much that I left my job because it wasn't getting me anywhere, and moved back to my place of birth. Right now I'm having a lot of difficulty meeting new people and keep thinking that there will never be anyone else in my life and that my ex is somewhere being more happy than I could ever be. I've stabbed myself before, and ended up in a mental hospital for a week, but it doesn't seem to have changed much, only that I have several scars on my arms and legs now. I feel just as alone as ever. I'm living in a house with two other friends and one of them is supposed to be my best friend. I don't know what he's done to help me through this. He knows a couple of women that he brings here to sleep with often, on separate occasions, and I think that's really all he cares about. I've ranted enough, and I just don't know what to do anymore. I have another friend that I've done so much for and I consider her to be very close, but she doesn't want to admit that. I visited her on the weekend while she was sick, and bought some medication for her. I'm a caring person, but I often don't get the same back.

    All I have are yesterdays. Tomorrow never comes....

    - lonelyd
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    If you walk around with a black cloud hanging over your head, people will avoid you..You should eat right, keep yourself clean in appearance and try to have a positive attitude. Then get out there and let the ladies know your available..I'm sure if you do those things you will attract the attention of a certain lady..
  3. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    its always hard to get over your first relationship because of not knowing the feelings that come with it ending but you cant let yourself dwell on it all. you need to dust yourself off and realise that it is possible for you to be in a relationship. we all learn from our mistakes and i think you've been dwelling on the mistakes for a bit too long. its now probably time for you to move on. shes moved on and theres nothing to say that you cant do the same. you've already proved to yourself that you can have a relationship and now its time for you to sort yourself out with the right attitude to find another relationship in which you can learn from them. put the wrongs that you've already learnt right

    wish you the best of luck x
  4. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    For some people, the first one is the hardest because it's all new. As for meeting new people, why not join a club which specializes in a interest of yours?