Just looking for advice on love.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by loljenny91, Apr 13, 2008.

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  1. loljenny91

    loljenny91 Member

    I'm in love with my friend. It's more like an unhealthy obsession.
    I told her, and she's ok with it. She doesn't feel the same way.
    Our friendship is a beautiful one, but my heart breaks every day when I just go back to normality with her. I don't want to tell her this, as I think I've put too much pressure on her already and she doesn't deserve such treatment.
    I'd just like to know, can you help me? Has anyone poured their heart out to someone and not got the same in return?
    Please note I'm 16 and still at school. I'd probably be more mature about this if I were older, but I'm not. Please, help?
     
  2. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    You can't make anyone fall in love with you, as far as I can tell you've only got two options here:

    1) Stick with the friendship - ok, you're not in a relationship, but being friends is better than nothing, right? A lot of friendships, on the whole, last longer than relationships anyway, and also what sucks about going into a relationship with a good friend is... when the relationship goes down the drain, more often than not, the friendship does too. So when the relationship fails, it can sometimes be hard to retain the friendship.

    2) Alternative option is, if it is so hard for you to remain in the friendship and not be in a relationship, if it's really tearing you apart that much, perhaps you need to consider taking a step back, and possible removing your friend from your life, even if it's just for a while. As time goes on your feelings will hopefully decrease as you won't be in contact your friend as much as you are at present.

    That's how I see things. Good luck with whatever happens. :hug:
     
  3. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    i agree, you can't make someone love you, there are many people who love someone from afar and are happy with that.
    if she had thought the same way as you then theres a chance that it would end and you will have lost everything.

    stick with the friendship and appreciate the friendship you share.

    sometimes that is better
     
  4. Feared.Desire

    Feared.Desire Well-Known Member

    I’d say stick with it … Ok, now I don’t want to really give any false hopes because I can’t pretend like I know the complexities of your situation. However; I can also safely say I’ve seen many relationships fall in place that have just started as friendships, and with one of the people saying ‘we’re close friends, but I wouldn’t date them’.
    There is always hope - besides, even if it doesn’t go anywhere, she clearly is a special friend to you, and those are sometimes hard to find.

    Best of luck …
     
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