I feel so utterly hopeless and helpless. I broke up with my boyfriend on saturday because i hadn't been sure for a while whether the "spark" was still there anymore. It took me ages to decide whether to do it or not because i was scared that the depression was stopping me from appreciating him. Now it's only a few days later and I already feel like I've fucked it all up. He was the person who helped me when I felt bad and now I've got rid of him. I haven't self-harmed for about 6 years, but I might as well now.