Have booked myself in at 3. Need to ask to go back on the pills. Pretty scared. Don't know what to say. I don't want any "help" I know if I go back on my pills it'll be enough.. but, I dunno. Not sure what to tell them. Too much, and they'll think I need more help, but if I play it down I might not get back on my meds. I want to tell them about everything. About the drugs, about susan, about what really happened with michelle, about the anxiety, about the genurall crapiness, the loss of emotions again, and all the other shit, even the screaming. But if I do, I'll seem pretty fucked up. Really worried... What I'm really scared about, is what happens if I can't go back on the pills. They used to really help, and since I came off them, things have been shit. But I messed around with them so much, and things are so different now.. I dunno. I know they'll make everything ok again, I've been telling myself this for weeks... After last night I decided it was time to make the call, 20 mins later and I'm already regretting it. Just gotta stay calm I guess.