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Just messed up

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MoAnamCara, Oct 7, 2012.

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  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    so fucking lonely, its driving me nuts

    every evening, every night its so much harder than other times of the day

    have worked and tried so hard to be "better"

    i end up back at this place. hurt, sad, empty, overwhelmed, anxious, worried and alone.

    how to face this every day? the same thing? the emptiness? the pain? the wanting to control emotions in unhealthy ways? i know its not right. if nothing works though, what choice do i have? what future can there be?

    im getting worked up about myself. angry with myself and with everything. i realize it makes no sense but its how i feel.

    i just miss this person, so much. i dont feel like me, something is missing. and anyone and everyone seems to have forgotten. well they did that shortly after the burial. how the fuck can i keep going? i dont have any clue.
  2. Unsung

    Unsung Member

    Maybe you need to keep your mind at rest for a little while, sometimes the best answers come to us,

    I wish you all the best though
  3. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    But I can't, that's part of it. A lot swirling around. I don't get why ppl don't understand. I mean, if I lost my arm, they'd get it. But because someone is no long here, it's like it's out of sight...out of mind. And I should be ok. I swear I don't know what to do anymore. May take a break.
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Of course you feel this way; you had been with this person for years, had a deep love and now, understandably, you feel lost...I know about having this type of relationship and it being stolen from me, but somehow we do find our way again...different, and not without missing him/her, but life does come back...it takes time and love... and it is true, most people just dont get it...biggest of hugs
  5. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Thanks but I'm not sure I can do this.
  6. Breezie

    Breezie New Member

    Some days it is so hard just to even breath...to open my eyes in the morning, my first thought is damn. It's morning.
    Why did I wake up. The day goes by some how. Then my young daughters come home and I just want to go to bed .
    Nights are so lonely, until I fall asleep. Most of the time that is the only peace I get...
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