Just... Need A Friend Right Now

[~Nobody~]

... and it's hard for me to ask but there you have it.

I am feeling really wobbly right now. My boyfriend just went mental and fucked off home and left me on my own. My mum and her fiance were at each other earlier and everything was shit. I cut earlier this evening and I had a cigarette and my boyfriend got cross with me about it....

I just... I can't handle this. I can't cope. And I have to go and see my fucking therapist on Monday and I really, really don't want to.

I'm slipping again. Just... arg... I don't know. I can't write well right now.

Please.

x x x

EDIT: This thread should be somewhere else, I know, but I don't want in in Uncertainty 'cause it's public, and I didn't want to worry anyone unnecessarily by putting this in Crisis. So... yeah. Sorry.

 

[Terry]

Noddy :sad: :hug: :hug: Smoke your lungs black if you want..drink the house dry..what ever it takes to be safe. :hug: :hug:

You got a friend :flowers:

 

[~Nobody~]

Thank you Terry :cry: Thank you so much. :cry:

I am going to roll another cigarette. I'd love to go through another bottle but I know I have to get up and go to work.

I don't want to be hated. I don't want him to hate me. :cry: I just don't know what else to do. What does he expect?

 

[black_rose_13]

^ i agree with Terry ^

just do everything you can to keep safe, you have a friend in me too :hug:

 

[~Nobody~]

Thank you :cry: x

 

[kindtosnails]

:arms: Still not got that magic wand but got a couple of ears if you need someone to listen and got long arms for :arms: (like mr/miss? tickle :unsure: :wink: ).

 

[~Nobody~]

Mr Tickle :smile:. Thank you, I appreciate it muchly. Just having people replying to this I feel less... alone than I do otherwise.

Thanks guys, you all mean the world to me :cry:.

:hug:

 

[Terry]

:hug: :hug: :hug:

 

[kindtosnails]

...But i want to be 'Miss Tickle' :wink:

:arms: :hug: :arms:

How's you feelin'?

 

[~Nobody~]

Ok then Miss Tickle :tongue:.

I'm wobbly. Just burnt myself. With the cigarette :dry:. I've lit it again now but just to smoke. I feel so fucked up, out of control, lost. It's no wonder no-one in the real world can handle the real me. Even the guy I've been with for over three years. Argggg doomed to fail. I'll never be happy.

:cry:

 

[Terry]

Hang in there hun..hang on tight

 

[~Nobody~]

Hang in there hun..hang on tight

What for? :blub:

 

[Terry]

For me if you can''t do it for yourself :sad:

 

[~Nobody~]

I am trying. I do try. But I wish I could be dead by Monday.

I mean I could be. I have everything I need right here, from before, when it didn't work out.

Oh God.

 

[Terry]

NOD!!!!! nooooooo :hug:

 

[~Nobody~]

:sad: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry anyone. You are all such wonderful people, you don't deserve this crap from me too. I only do harm, however hard I try not to.

What is there in this world for me? Nothing, no-one. It won't change. I don't want to face Sue on Monday. Hell, I don't want to face work tomorrow. I don't want to face the world. I'm sick of the world. I'm done with men, done with people, just done. People only handle me on here, and on here no-one needs to handle me on top of everyone else.

Other people are more deserving of help than me. Other people have bigger problems, they've had worse lives. But I still feel like this. I'm just a bad person, I didn't want to be a bad person. But I am.

 

[kindtosnails]

Not true. You do a lot of good. i don't want to face the world either, but we probably should. All i can offer is a sympathetic ear (or two :wink: ) and some :hug: s for which you'll need a good imagination, at the end of the day. Don't compare your life or problems to others, there's just no point, it's not necessary, it's what you're feeling now that's important. i don't know if you'll believe me, but i don't think you'll find a person here who'll believe you're a bad person. 'Tis just not true. :arms:

 

[~Nobody~]

:hug: I wish I could believe that. x

 

[Spearmint]

:hug: You're not a bad person, you've helped me a lot. And, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here. :hug:

 

[~Nobody~]

:hug:s Jess x

What's going on with my boyfriend then? I must be. Just can't do anything right.