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Just need some sympathy !

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by moneymoneymoney, Jul 6, 2007.

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  1. moneymoneymoney

    moneymoneymoney New Member

    Hi, i cant really say im full on suicidal ! but sometimes i wish i were !

    im 18 and after youve read this maybe im just a drama queen ! but i just get the feeling that the big guy up stairs isnt giving me a fair chance !

    It all started last august, i moved house forcing me to leave my job ! i had a good job trainee broker role, and after leaving it i was out of work for a while. this was the start of my depression, i was real pissed that i had to leave my nice life were i knew everyone had lots of money a good job and a nice life !
    but i began to pick myself up going from job to job to make ends meet....thats all lead to were i am now, ive been in a job for about 3 months now, and things there go from bad to worse ! ive gotten myself into debt...but not with banks or lenders but friends family, people i know and love ! and now im just a ball of lies telling them excuse after excuse of how ive got there money and ill give it to them on such an such date ! and then putting there lives on the rocks just like mine when there expecting money and get none !

    im now in a huge whole ! because ive lost my job and am in the process of getting another but for the time being have like nothing to give ! debts just waiting to be payed and i have nothing ! now i find myself ignoring and blanking everyone possible to get away from it ! this includes my best pals and my mum ! i just dont knoe were to go ! every week to me is "what can i do for a quick £££" and thats juct because i cant wait for it they need there money now !!

    Im doing my best to get a good job but my best just isnt good enough !

    So as i said not a real suicide story but because of this i find myself thinking that death can be the answer ! i mean then atleast i wouldnt have to worrie no more about all this crap ive got myself in !

    I kinda feel like god just wont let me be ok ! its like every time i start to make a change, he goes right ahead and nocks me back down to ground zero ! and then i think " its you, you do this to yourself nobody else" and this forces me to hate the person i am ! i used to love who i am ! i really have a great personality ! im a smart guy ! and will one day do well i hope ! i just find it hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel !

    The reason i wrote this is to try find people in the same situation ! or wiser people than myself to give me advice and maybe share a story ! :D

    Im just trying to brave a good face and keep my chin up :p

    thanks for listening it really does mean alot !

    LAN x
  2. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Thats a tough situation your in. I think you should tell the people you owe money to the truth and if they don't like it then tough. They will just have to wait until you can pay up. Keep going, things will work out. Not soo long ago I was in a bad situation, not as bad as yours but alot of things weren't going my way. And now i'm rebuilding my life. The point is that I never stopped believing and nor should you.

    All the best.
  3. moneymoneymoney

    moneymoneymoney New Member

    thank alot for that ! i know your right but thats the hardes thing to do you know ! i thinki i just have to take it on the chin ! and move onwards an upwords no ?

    so what was ypur situation ? and whats was your escape route ?
  4. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Yeah, exactly. move onwards and upwards. Just never give up and keep believing. As long as you have that then you can make life soo much better. It's through hope that you can achieve goals and dreams.

    Oh, Well earlier this year, I was at university but because I messed up soo much and I was more or less broke, I had no choice but to move back to my home town. Now that i'm here, i'm rebuilding from scratch. I'm working so I can get alot of money behind me then in september of 2008, I will go back to university and finish off my studies. Also before this incident, I realized I had problems with my self, so i've tried to sort them out. I've managed to get 1 out of the 2 sorted. I'm just working on this last one. It's gonna take a long time but I know I can overcome this.

    The things is that even when I hit rock bottom, deep down I still kept believing. I hope you find that strength within yourself as well.
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