just need someone to talk to.....

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by plzmakethesefeelingsstop, Mar 16, 2015.

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  1. I cannot find the words to even begin to explain what I am feeling, or what brought me here to make this post. All I know is these feelings are eating me alive.... this is my cry for help.
     
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi welcome to the forum. We can help YOU, you are no longer alone as we understand what you are going through. Tell us what is the root of the all these feelings. You will NOT be judged but get the support you truly richly deserve. YOU are important NOW.
     
  3. Where do I start? .....I was sexually, physically abused and raped by my older brother starting at the age of 7. This went on for about 2 years. My parents had no idea at the time. It wasn't until I was 28 years old and had separated from my first husband who physically, psychologically, mentally and emotionally abused me..... that I finally told my parents about the childhood abuse by my brother. I don't think either of them believed me.

    This was what triggered my first suicide attempt. I was diagnosed with PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, situational depression and was having constant, crippling panic attacks. This was the beginning of the end of me and my facade of a "life". The secrets were out. I couldn't face anyone I knew without thinking, "Do they know?" I couldn't hide behind what everyone thought was my perfect little life. Happy young married couple with a young child. My successful career went down the toilet, fast. I became agoraphobic.... only leaving my house when I absolutely had to. It's still that way to this day. Psychiatrists, psychologists, counselors.... medication therapy. Nothing helped. Every day was becoming worse than the previous day.

    This is really all I feel comfortable posting at the moment. It does feel better to get this off my chest and out of my head. I have such a hard time trusting anyone anymore... this is not easy for me. But I have a feeling, I'm not alone.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 16, 2015
  4. Insomniac's Prayer

    Now I lay me down to sleep,
    I pray this bull$#!& in my head will cease,
    In the afternoon, when I awake,
    A dozen cookies, I will bake

    .....unless, of course I take a nap!

    :newhere:
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i hear you and i could use that prayer myself I am sorry you feel so isolated and alone. I know you say you have tried so many things to help you but continue to reach out for support ok and don't worry abt what others think of you it is not them that is suffering
     
  6. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm glad you told us. The pressure of telling us is no doubt a big relief. I totally understand the way you feel. You surely had a tough time and continue to do so. You need to strong and only dealing with your stress hour by hour. You have to be strong and kinder to yourself. Yes you have lost everything but you can rebuild your life stage by stage. People do survive and let us help you in the healing process. I suggest that you use the private diary on this forum to write your feelings you feel as it will help in the healing process. When we at the end of road of life, we start again by learning to crawl like a baby first and then learn to walk. We are all survivors here and so are YOU. Be safe please. Let's start by getting you through this week.
     
  7. IJ (it just is)

    IJ (it just is) Well-Known Member

    you right, you are not alone. there are so many of us out there that are battling with issues, regardless of what they are. I do feel for you and what happened to you as a kid, thats so unfair for a 7 year to go through. but for the sake of your kid, you need to found a way to carry on, try a different therapist maybe, someone you feel comfortable with, I dont wanna appear to be lecturing you or giving you the typical cliches.

    But I understand the emotional and verbal abuse and a little of the physical abuse, mine was just from my mother and sisters. My mother always out me down and smacked me around for various reasons, my sisters bullied and teased me all the time. And being the youngest I always felt I didnt belong, and is do today.

    I wanna take my own life too but somewhere I am still here. The only thing stopping me is I seem to be jinxed, so my luck I will not be successful and end up in hospital or an institution.

    I am here if you wanna talk and get things off your chest.
     
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