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just need to say

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I just need to say "out loud" that my suicidal feelings are coming back. Meds are not working. And I think perhaps I've just come to the end of what I can take or what I should have to take. And I don't say that in anger, but in resignation. Want to throw away all my junk and not have any responsibilities. If not for my mom, I would have killed myself long ago. I want to rest. I want to relax. I want to feel safe. And, basically, I am. I just don't feel it. Maybe depression is the disconnect from reality that just takes you away and brainwashes you. I wish my skin were soft. And I know that that is so superficial and pointless. All I ever say in these posts is "I think" and "I want." How pointless. No truth in that. Just shaped by the ridiculous, abnormal "person" I am. Anyway, loneliness kills, and it's killing me. I wish I were not alive. Wish I had never been born. I just never feel right.


Well-Known Member
Sorry that you feel lonely and wish you had never been born. I often feel this way too but like you i dont want to hurt my family members. Please realise that plenty of people here care and can relate to how you feel. If you ever need to talk they are only too happy to listen. PM or email me if you need to.
Take care.
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