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Just need to scream!!

#1
I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE!

I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE!

I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE!

I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE!

I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE!

I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE!

I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE!

I don’t want to be here!

I don’t want to be here!

I don’t want to be here!

I don’t want to be here!

I don’t want to be here!
 
#5
You know that feeling when you feel like your spinning around and around in a hurricane and then you reach the centre, the eye of the storm and everything is suddenly calm. It’s like coming back to earth with a bump, being grounded by the only solution. The realisation that this could all be over if I just ended it here and now. And it is the only calm thought in your head because it is the only solution.

It doesn’t matter where I am, what I’m doing, I have stress and anxiety in every part of my life. None of it will be going away any time soon and I am so tired I just don’t have the fight left in me.
 
#7
I’ve been in to work/school today. Every time I go in I get overwhelmed by the shear volume and impact that this damn virus has had and will continue to have on the kids, their education and the running of the school. Somehow I have to pick up the pieces and get them through but the way the school is going to have to function next year is so different and the pressure it will put into staff will be immense. Any time I do anything that is school related I feel this build up of panic which I can’t control.
I then get home to find all the stresses at home where I’m picking up the pieces and trying to keep the family going. My husband is massively stressed at the moment, my son has pretty much locked himself in his room since lockdown, the ultimate self isolation. My daughters are suffering from daily migraines and I miss terribly the time I had before lockdown to be able to take to someone and just be me for a short while each week. I’m just so tired.
 

sinking_ship

woman overboard
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#8
That sounds especially hard to be working in a school right now. There is so much that is out of your control, and you just want to do right by the kids. There's no perfect solution though, you can only do so much, and only take on so much responsibility. Everyone is just muddling through right now. I was talking to a friend the other day and I said to her, this year is just going to have an asterisk next to it in everyone's life.

I'm sorry things are hard at home too. Is there anything you can to do take some pressure off of yourself? A family member the kids could stay with for a bit, maybe? Even if it's not a perfect solution, it's worlds better than you getting to your breaking point.
Sorry, I wasn't sure if you wanted advice or not.

*hug You're not alone
 
#9
That sounds especially hard to be working in a school right now. There is so much that is out of your control, and you just want to do right by the kids. There's no perfect solution though, you can only do so much, and only take on so much responsibility. Everyone is just muddling through right now. I was talking to a friend the other day and I said to her, this year is just going to have an asterisk next to it in everyone's life.

I'm sorry things are hard at home too. Is there anything you can to do take some pressure off of yourself? A family member the kids could stay with for a bit, maybe? Even if it's not a perfect solution, it's worlds better than you getting to your breaking point.
Sorry, I wasn't sure if you wanted advice or not.

*hug You're not alone
Thank you. Sometimes just getting it out there and talking can help. Part of the problem is that there is no solution. I can’t change anything. I can’t change the pressures at work. I can’t stop their migraines and believe me we’ve tried everything going. I don’t think I can even help reduce my husband’s stress as he’s a teacher too. There’s just no let up and the thought of doing it all again tomorrow is sometimes just too much.
 

MosesY

Functioning Alcoholic
SF Supporter
#14
You made it through the night. That is great. I feel your pain,, am about to go off to work which is very stressful for me. I would suggest taking the moment, not trying for the day, and do the best you can in the moment. You have a lot to deal with, I understand your stress. I care about you, will be wishing you well today and hope you have some good things happen. Hugs to you.
 
#15
I feel the same, I wish I was just gone...non existence, nothingness. It is what I want most of all in life.
Do you find that playing your guitar helps, ever? I can’t remember for sure, but I think it was you—(please forgive me if it was not!); but there are as you may very well know, a great deal of famous musicians - some of them, some of the most famous & successful in the history of music - who’ve cited & noted multiple times over the years, how just something so simple as “picking up their guitar, and playing it... (when they’re feeling down, or just simply not good) can almost magically transform them, and their mood(s)!” : ) doesn’t always work / & it’s not foolproof (but what is?)? ;^)_.~ I know, though, when it is really bad—I can’t even bring my self to crack open the case - (let alone pick it up & hold / let alone, “play,” it...)! :D
 
#16
You made it through the night. That is great. I feel your pain,, am about to go off to work which is very stressful for me. I would suggest taking the moment, not trying for the day, and do the best you can in the moment. You have a lot to deal with, I understand your stress. I care about you, will be wishing you well today and hope you have some good things happen. Hugs to you.
*hug
 
#17
You made it through the night. That is great. I feel your pain,, am about to go off to work which is very stressful for me. I would suggest taking the moment, not trying for the day, and do the best you can in the moment. You have a lot to deal with, I understand your stress. I care about you, will be wishing you well today and hope you have some good things happen. Hugs to you.
Been wanting to write something in the thread for what makes me smile each day but haven’t been able to the last two days. I have kept trying. But there’s been nothing. Perhaps today something will happen for me to write it down today.
 

KM76710

KM stands for Kangaroo Manager
SF Supporter
#18
Do you find that playing your guitar helps, ever? I can’t remember for sure, but I think it was you—(please forgive me if it was not!); but there are as you may very well know, a great deal of famous musicians - some of them, some of the most famous & successful in the history of music - who’ve cited & noted multiple times over the years, how just something so simple as “picking up their guitar, and playing it... (when they’re feeling down, or just simply not good) can almost magically transform them, and their mood(s)!” : ) doesn’t always work / & it’s not foolproof (but what is?)? ;^)_.~ I know, though, when it is really bad—I can’t even bring my self to crack open the case - (let alone pick it up & hold / let alone, “play,” it...)! :D
It can be very relaxing depending on the guitar and style of music. I love all types and genres of music. I will tell that getting out the Gibson SG(think Angus Young of AC/DC and Tommy Iommi of Black Sabbath) will get you perked up so I do that with the Gibson I play more older hard rock, heavy metal there. Fender Telecaster I am more Pink Floyd and acoustic mostly Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson and acoustic song favorites, those are very relaxing.
 
#19
It can be very relaxing depending on the guitar and style of music. I love all types and genres of music. I will tell that getting out the Gibson SG(think Angus Young of AC/DC and Tommy Iommi of Black Sabbath) will get you perked up so I do that with the Gibson I play more older hard rock, heavy metal there. Fender Telecaster I am more Pink Floyd and acoustic mostly Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson and acoustic song favorites, those are very relaxing.
Sounds like some really great taste you’ve got there—& nice diverse mix / blend in types of music! :^)
 

KM76710

KM stands for Kangaroo Manager
SF Supporter
#20
Sounds like some really great taste you’ve got there—& nice diverse mix / blend in types of music! :^)
Many thanks, if I had to pick a single favorite group/band or person it would be the Allman Brothers.

Two of my favorites from them.


Great for Telecaster electric.


Little Martha, excellent for acoustic.
 
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