Hello, :new: I am a female college student and I really feel like I need to talk to someone, express how I feel, or just vent. I have felt very suicidal the past few days because of the stress my boyfriend has been causing me. Honestly, I have been thinking about suicide for a lot longer than this, it has always been in the back of my mind, or front of my mind, the past few years and even when I was younger. :blub: My boyfriend is very controlling, however I know he cares about me so much, but he doesn't seem to understand or listen when I tell him anything to try to get him to change the way he acts towards me. He often shelters me from the world and doesn't let me talk or be around anyone besides him. He doesn't even let me talk to my own family anymore, which is just going way too far. But when I try to tell him he is has a problem and should not be doing this to me, he just thinks he is right and I am wrong or he calls me a whiny baby. He doesn't understand how important it is to have friends and family in someone's life, just because he is not close to his family, does not mean that he should separate someone else from theirs. :depressed: I really feel like I have no one to talk to anymore, and he definitely doesn't listen to me when I am feeling down, he says I am just complaining and pushes it off like I am childish or just weird. It really hurts me not to be able to have a close relationship to my relatives, especially my mother. Not only this, but he says awful things about my family, insulting them in every way and he knows that I can't bear to hear such horrible things about the people I love. He controls me in many other aspects as well. He gets mad at little things like if I missed his phone call because I didn't hear my phone. He literally doesn't let me have friends and he makes up excuses of why they shouldn't be my friend, like say they are religious, he says I will become a Christian freak if I hang out with this person or if they are not attractive looking he does not want me to be friends with that person because of the way they look. I really don't know what to do anymore. I really do love my boyfriend, and obviously he is not always acting in such a way that depresses me because I usually have a really good time with him and he is a very smart and hardworking person, it's just all the things that he does to control me, it drives me to the extreme, its drives me crazy and he has to be able to see that he is making me sad, angry, depressed, frustrated, and so many other things. I have lectured him about his ways, yelled at him, cried about it, and talked to him about it politely, but he has never changed. I really feel like the only way I can get out of this is if I kill myself because I don't know how else to get it through to him to stop treating me this way. Therefore, I have always been thinking about numerous ways I could kill myself and I find much pleasure in thinking about this. But I really don't want it to be that way because I have such a bright future ahead of myself. I know there is no way I could put in words really how I feel about my life situation right now or my thoughts or all of my problems but this is at least how I feel in some aspects. Thank you so much for listening.