just need to vent

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by VTchick, Jan 24, 2008.

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  1. VTchick

    VTchick New Member

    Hello,
    :new:
    I am a female college student and I really feel like I need to talk to someone, express how I feel, or just vent. I have felt very suicidal the past few days because of the stress my boyfriend has been causing me. Honestly, I have been thinking about suicide for a lot longer than this, it has always been in the back of my mind, or front of my mind, the past few years and even when I was younger. :blub:

    My boyfriend is very controlling, however I know he cares about me so much, but he doesn't seem to understand or listen when I tell him anything to try to get him to change the way he acts towards me. He often shelters me from the world and doesn't let me talk or be around anyone besides him. He doesn't even let me talk to my own family anymore, which is just going way too far. But when I try to tell him he is has a problem and should not be doing this to me, he just thinks he is right and I am wrong or he calls me a whiny baby. He doesn't understand how important it is to have friends and family in someone's life, just because he is not close to his family, does not mean that he should separate someone else from theirs.

    :depressed: I really feel like I have no one to talk to anymore, and he definitely doesn't listen to me when I am feeling down, he says I am just complaining and pushes it off like I am childish or just weird. It really hurts me not to be able to have a close relationship to my relatives, especially my mother. Not only this, but he says awful things about my family, insulting them in every way and he knows that I can't bear to hear such horrible things about the people I love. He controls me in many other aspects as well. He gets mad at little things like if I missed his phone call because I didn't hear my phone. He literally doesn't let me have friends and he makes up excuses of why they shouldn't be my friend, like say they are religious, he says I will become a Christian freak if I hang out with this person or if they are not attractive looking he does not want me to be friends with that person because of the way they look.

    I really don't know what to do anymore. I really do love my boyfriend, and obviously he is not always acting in such a way that depresses me because I usually have a really good time with him and he is a very smart and hardworking person, it's just all the things that he does to control me, it drives me to the extreme, its drives me crazy and he has to be able to see that he is making me sad, angry, depressed, frustrated, and so many other things. I have lectured him about his ways, yelled at him, cried about it, and talked to him about it politely, but he has never changed. I really feel like the only way I can get out of this is if I kill myself because I don't know how else to get it through to him to stop treating me this way. Therefore, I have always been thinking about numerous ways I could kill myself and I find much pleasure in thinking about this. But I really don't want it to be that way because I have such a bright future ahead of myself.

    I know there is no way I could put in words really how I feel about my life situation right now or my thoughts or all of my problems but this is at least how I feel in some aspects. Thank you so much for listening.
     
  2. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    Hey. :hiya: Not at all--thank you for being brave and smart enough to come here and share all that.

    Here's what popular U.S. radio talkshow-host Dr. Laura Schlessinger would say, as she is no-nonsense and very direct:

    You have a controlling boyfriend on your hands. God help you if you go on to marry him. Has he been violent yet? Are saying you to me that you have such low self-esteem ("but he REALLY CARES about me") that you would let another man separate you from your own family, keep you from having the life God has entitled you to, and keep you his "kept woman," forbidding from having friends, and ultimately driving you closerto a point of killing yourself?"

    That's... about what she would say, I'm afraid. :hug: She just doesn't suffer very well what she calls "weak" women. She would probably would URGE you to get away (physically) from him asap and perhaps even encourage counseling for a girl who is no needy that she will sacrifice her very life for a man that cares.

    "he has to be able to see that he is making me sad, angry, depressed, frustrated, and so many other things. I have lectured him about his ways, yelled at him, cried about it, and talked to him about it politely, but he has never changed."

    No, no, no... uhm lesee. No and no.

    My dear he does NOT have to see anything and he certainly does not have to change.

    I'm sure you've heard the principle that you cannot change others. Well remember it here. No matter how special he may be to you, he is also killing you inside.

    VTchick.... Please. You cannot afford to have men like this in your life. Others will come along I'm sure and affirm what I'm saying. For now, welcome to the forums. And big, giant hugs ((((vtchick)))) to you.

    ToHelp
     
  3. felodese

    felodese Member

    I think lots of people have unbalanced relationships in a certain way. Some are healthy and some aren't (i wouldn't consider this one a healthy one). My advice would be to think of a way to get your message across(i know yo have tired this but..). And think more on the lines of what would affect him the most, and not just act out emotions.

    I can only speculate but it seems that he doesn't respect you. I don't know know if it was always like this, but at the very least you should get him to respect you.
     
  4. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    my advice to you is if thats the way he treats you, he doesnt love you..u need to get away from him as soon as possible and run to your family and your friends, because they have your back..honestly the guy sounds like a sleezball and i cannot stand poeple like that. my older sister had a boyfriend like that and he beat her i found out.. you should run to your friends and family and dump him..like asap im sorry sweetheart but i dont trust him from the sounds of it.. you should get out..
     
  5. Daze&Confused

    Daze&Confused Antiquitie's Friend

    I know you probably won't want to hear this,especially from a stranger. I've never met him but from your description this relationship of yours is out of balance. You are equals, your opinions and feelings matter just as much as his.
    If you can't be yourself with him, then be yourself without him. Find someone who isnt so insecure, and controlling, life is hard enough, without having to deal with this. The longer you leave it, the harder it will be.
    Hope you're feeling better.
     
  6. VTchick

    VTchick New Member

    Thanks for all the advice guys. It feels better to have expressed how I feel to some people who will listen to what I have to say.
     
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