Feel so ashamed of what I have done this evening. Tried so hard not to. But in the end it beat me. Hate it for that. The depression takes over my control. No matter what I try it interferes. Feel exhausted from the effort it takes to keep trying to cope. Try to sleep so it goes away for a bit. Don’t like the thoughts going around my head. Am selfish in my worrying. Reminds me I’m selfish. Feel physically sick from everything going on. It's too much. I know nobody else can solve my feelings and issues but needed to just tell someone. Thank you.