Just not a good situation

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by ZombiePringle, Jun 13, 2010.

  1. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    As many of you may already know I've been having really bad problems for about a year and a half at least with my now ex fiance. Its just basically escalated to hell in the last few months. She decided to end it about 2 months ago. And since then (and probably even before then) she's been dating people online, giving them her cell phone number and she's been sending international texts to one of them which drives up my cell phone bill.

    Another problem that has been going on for months is on most weekends she always decides to go out with her friends and most of those times leaves our daughter at home... now don't get me wrong. I love spending time with my daughter but I work all week sometimes 45-50 hours and I just want sometime to just relax. Instead She gets to go out and have fun (she doesn't have a job) and I get to be stuck at home. Sometimes it gets really bad. Like yesterday for example... I do work the overnight shift which means I sleep during the day and so I woke up friday night at about 10 pm. Saturday comes around and she went with her friends to some haunted prison hours away (thats where she says she went). She left at about 9 am and actually still isn't home. She was going to try and find a babysitter but didn't so I had to stay awake all day with my daughter. And it ended up resulting in me being awake for about 24 hours...which is extremely hard for me.

    Even though we are broken up I still live with her because I have nowhere to go. My family lives 10 hours away. I have zero friends and I don't have the money to get my own place since I have to pay for everything...Bills,food, daughters needs..just everything. She barely does anything except get on the computer when she's home. Even her dad says stuff about her to me...basically saying that the way she acts is not right at all. I have other stuff going on in life on top of this and I'm just drained... I just want an escape.....
  2. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    if you pay all the bills, whos house is it that you are living in? it seems you have more right than her if you pay for everything and she is not doing anything except going out with mates.

    This seems incredibly unfair :hug:
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    agree with that totally.....you might as well be in your own place and not supporting her at all...
    sounds like you love your daughter very much but you definately shouldn't have to look after her so much if it means you don't get any sleep and your ex is only out partying .etc...
    it sounds like you are being far too nice to your ex..above and beyond the call of duty ..so to speak...
    maybe it's time to get tough with her...
  4. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    Well we are actually living in her grandpa's house with her family. So thats why I have to put up with it so much. If I start not paying for her stuff then I get kicked out. But because I'm putting so much money into everything I can't even afford to save up for my own place.
  5. alices_ponder

    alices_ponder Well-Known Member

    I am really sorry to hear what you are going through sweetheart. Yeah I was about to say that if you pay bills then is it not your house. But then you just said that it is her grandparents house so nevermind :hugtackles: It is really unfair that she is going out all the time and leaving you with your daughter when you work so much all the time.. could you not get some help off her parents? What age is your daughter sweetheart? :hugtackles:
  6. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    She'll be 2 in August :) . Her parents Probably wouldn't help me because her mom only goes on what my ex tells her. She doesn't know whats really going on. And her dad see's how his daughter is but He wouldn't help me to leave because then they would have to financially support (her dad lives here too, Her mom lives in the same city but she got remarried) And her grandpa views me as some worthless, lazy something or other. He makes sure to tell me that a lot all because I don't do a lot of cleaning and I sleep all day.. But I'm going to work all night and all this stuff thats going on is just making me exhausted.
  7. alices_ponder

    alices_ponder Well-Known Member

    Awh I bet your daughter is beautiful :) well I am truly sorry to hear about your family situation darling! oh god.. not even her own father wants to support her, probably because he can see that you are the good guy and she is using you and then running off all over the country doing whatever she wants :/ I am sorry to hear this. I am not sure what country you are from, but have you tried seeking help from your local government? :hugtackles:xo
  8. Azumi

    Azumi Well-Known Member

    I'm sick of this, and I'm going to stand up for myself now. I lost both of my previous jobs because I have to take him to and from work. I am still looking for a job, but have yet to be hired. I was going to school as a full time student. I've given him plenty of opportunities to leave. I don't ask him to stay, he choose to. I don't NEED him at all. My dad, I could care less of his opinion of me. And yes Alice he doesn't want to support me, never has even as I was growing up living with him. My grandparents and myself supported me. The reason why I completely ended it was the fact that when I needed help carrying him daughters things from a friends house where I had spent the night, he refused to help carry anything including her. I got tired of doing things by myself because he refused to help. Yes he helped out financially, but so did I when I had the money. I was the one that paid for his phone, his ipod, the psp, the wii, the 360, the ps3, etc. all the stuff he wanted. I didn't get myself what I wanted because I would buy him things. I rarely go out, its not an every weekend thing. Half the time when I go somewhere with a friend I bring my daughter. I don't go out partying at all. I rarely even drink at home. I have my faults, so does he, and every body else. So now if you have something to say about me. Maybe you should talk to me before you make assumptions and judgements. if you want to say stuff to me then go ahead. now you knwo who he's talking bout.
  9. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I don't get why you guys just don't help each other out. You are both adults and you obviously don't want to be together anymore so why not just both say 'right fine - it's over. For a month or two I won't ask for any financial aid from Josh and he can live in the house until he has enough to get his own place' and from there you can both just get on with your lives and concentrate on being good parents without all of this other crap.
    I'm sure you can be adult enough to let him save his wages and not spend any money on anything for 6 weeks or so just enough that he can get out without being worried about being turfed out... surely?

    No offense to either of you but this situation isn't helping anybody is it? You both sound fucking miserable!
  10. alices_ponder

    alices_ponder Well-Known Member

    Yes I think you two should sort this out between yourselves and this post should be locked by a moderator because it isn't going to get anywhere. Obviously if you hear one side of the story from someone looking for support then you reach out to that person. But I am sorry that I did not see your side to it. You both seem to have a lot of issues to each other. Perhaps you should both move out into separate houses when you have the money, sort out your problems for your daughters sake and then move on with your lives?

    Good luck to you both :hugtackles: xox