just not me

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by total eclipse, Oct 2, 2009.

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  1. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    anxious abt tonight meeting with hospital abt my daughter pray she get somekind of help. i am dead inside no emotion told i am not really trying not wanting to get better vicious circle I tried toexplain this deep pain inside me and told hogwash hogwash because i cannot feel happiness I am happy for them a child on the way but i watch my child struggle with life suicidal every times she attempts it kills me Why don't they understand i can't feel anything but despair and pain right now It is not her daughter who ends up on life support i am told i enjoy being in this state i am wanting this pain what the ffff are they talking about I was happy for them they are having a child but i worry about my daughter right now her life and what will become of it. I am sorry for having this deep pain deep saddness inside me maybe after tonight things will change maybe someone will get my daughter the help she needs the saftey she needs I am just tired and have no energy for anything SORRY for not being so rejoiceful so dam happy over a child that is not even on this dam earth yet I have to take care of the one alive now so excuse my pain i will not discuss it anymore I told them honestly how i was feeling happy for them but void of emotion myself hogwash enjoying all this dam pain im in want to be here when i see my daughter start to live again that is when i can start living. If she dies so do i so how is that for ffff pain
    Please god get her well and get her the help she need please keep her safe
    please bring her joy and happiness and healing please take me not her take me.
     
  2. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    Hell Violet you shouldn't have to apologize for being in pain. You hang in there, we're on your side.

    Tam
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i talked with a kind doctor the other day he is going to try to help my daughter stabilize her i hope this is a start to her getting better Thanks Tam for your response I will try to feel more happiness now after i get some sleep though
    thanks
     
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