Crazy actions on my part tonight. I don't want attension. I really want the deep sleep. I do have 3-4 people that know just enough. I know methods can't be mentioned. Sometimes I think it is a crap shoot on weather I wake up.
PTSD, anxiety, depression, eating disorder, flashbacks, alcoholid/addict with over 10years plus----I will go to the permanent sleep from all my past deveilments---- disasociation---sommetimes I lose whole memories of the day....labels...labels....Guilt- Faer -shame.
Therapy twice a week for last 3ish years. Recovery meetings,Loving wife, Important job in the helping field----I want out of all of it.
I tried the psychoanaylitical---Recovery---tons of meds---cognitive behavioral----hell even the Samaritans. Hospitals all over the USA---Detox 12 times---mostly dual diagnosis---anxiety,depression, substance abuse, trauma, and eating.
I don't know if my xpectations to keep sucking air are realistic. Note---yes will leave note----Mess---NO MESS FOR LOVED ONES.
I have run out of resources,
You are some really resiliant people here---lot of pain and you are still swimming.
Iz
PTSD, anxiety, depression, eating disorder, flashbacks, alcoholid/addict with over 10years plus----I will go to the permanent sleep from all my past deveilments---- disasociation---sommetimes I lose whole memories of the day....labels...labels....Guilt- Faer -shame.
Therapy twice a week for last 3ish years. Recovery meetings,Loving wife, Important job in the helping field----I want out of all of it.
I tried the psychoanaylitical---Recovery---tons of meds---cognitive behavioral----hell even the Samaritans. Hospitals all over the USA---Detox 12 times---mostly dual diagnosis---anxiety,depression, substance abuse, trauma, and eating.
I don't know if my xpectations to keep sucking air are realistic. Note---yes will leave note----Mess---NO MESS FOR LOVED ONES.
I have run out of resources,
You are some really resiliant people here---lot of pain and you are still swimming.
Iz