Just, Nothing. (trig warning)

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Beka, Jun 23, 2012.

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  1. Beka

    Beka Well-Known Member

    First thread here.

    I guess that means what I'm feeling is completely real.

    That a knife isn't in my lap.

    The only thing that meant something to me was my friends. And I failed every single one of them tonight.
    My friend's drink got spiked.
    I didn't protect her.
    I didn't even notice the symptoms.

    I'm a fuck up at everything.

    I don't even know who I am anymore.
    I can't even say what my 'morals' are..
    I just don't even care.
     
  2. Jagroen

    Jagroen Well-Known Member

    did you take her home, or did someone take advantange of her?

    you say you don't know what your morals are, but you are kicking yourself for not protecting your friend, i think thats a moral to live by,

    but life makes all of us kick ourself when we least expect it, hope things get better for you
     
  3. Rainfall

    Rainfall Well-Known Member

    Just ask yourself one thing: how would your friend feel if she knew you were feeling like this know?

    I'd expect she would feel guilty because she is the cause of your pain, because that drink being spiked wasn't your fault. I've had my drink spiked before, but I can't blame my friend for it, she's wasn't the reason for the drink being spiked, nor did she know it was spiked. I blame mostly only the person who spiked the drink and partly myself, I should have noticed the strange taste, and I should have stopped when I started to feel funny.

    Look at yourself in a positive light, you are probably the most loyal and loving friend I've ever seen, the fact that you are in such despair because ill has befallen your friend, even though it's not your fault. You're a wonderful human being, and the world would be a darker place if you go. You are the most moral person I know.
     
  4. ellorian

    ellorian Well-Known Member

    It is not the victim or her friends who are to blame for an abuser's actions. It is the abuser.
     
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