Recently I was informed by my sister that my entire family hates me and wants me to leave. I, of course, already knew this, but her saying it directly to me (along with other things such as "you'll always be alone and hated", and "you might as well kill yourself now" despite the fact she knew I was already suicidal) is just a wake-up call. I rather think I will kill myself in the most bloody and gruesome manner possible. I'll call out this fucked up family in my suicide note, call them out for the death they caused. Then these assholes will have to live with the knowledge that they brought about my painful and lonely demise. But though existence is unbearable and I pray for death every moment of my empty life, I have one thing to live for currently - namely, I've arranged to meet with a girl I've been exchanging emails with for some time. The meeting will take place a month from now. Note: It's friendly thing, not internet dating. So I'm facing something of a dilemma, as you can see. Right now I'm inclined toward suicide as I can't imagine living through this anguish for even another day. But still... I hate to go back on my word, and besides... she's probably worth enduring the misery for. Respond if you wish.. try to help me make it to the meeting day.