Just One Month

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by NeverHappy, Aug 10, 2008.

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  1. NeverHappy

    NeverHappy Well-Known Member

    Recently I was informed by my sister that my entire family hates me and wants me to leave. I, of course, already knew this, but her saying it directly to me (along with other things such as "you'll always be alone and hated", and "you might as well kill yourself now" despite the fact she knew I was already suicidal) is just a wake-up call. I rather think I will kill myself in the most bloody and gruesome manner possible. I'll call out this fucked up family in my suicide note, call them out for the death they caused. Then these assholes will have to live with the knowledge that they brought about my painful and lonely demise.

    But though existence is unbearable and I pray for death every moment of my empty life, I have one thing to live for currently - namely, I've arranged to meet with a girl I've been exchanging emails with for some time. The meeting will take place a month from now. Note: It's friendly thing, not internet dating.

    So I'm facing something of a dilemma, as you can see. Right now I'm inclined toward suicide as I can't imagine living through this anguish for even another day. But still... I hate to go back on my word, and besides... she's probably worth enduring the misery for.

    Respond if you wish.. try to help me make it to the meeting day.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 10, 2008
  2. DrowningInTears

    DrowningInTears Well-Known Member

    give her a try. and if your family hates you that much they might not even feel any guilt over your suicide, so dont give them the satisfaction.
  3. Nyu

    Nyu Well-Known Member

    hmm, i'm sorta in a similar situation, where i want to kill myself, but i have a friend who is sorta standing in the way of that. Best of luck.

    Btw, ur family, if they would actually say those kind of things to you, i wouldn't give them the satisfaction of harming yourself, so please don''t :sad:

    You know, it's funny ( in a nonhumorous way) how we all get caught up in our own troubles, yet when we hear about someone's elses, we're able to say how 'everything is going to be all right" when in fact we don't feel that way about whatever we're going through.....makes you wonder
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 10, 2008
  4. NeverHappy

    NeverHappy Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the encouragement.

    And yes, my family hate me that much. I've been essentially ostracised from my siblings.
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Are you old enough to move out on your own at this point in your life? Or is there another place you can go? I might not take things said out of jealousy or anger to heart. The feelings of your family is not worth taking your life over. Show them that you can succeed and it can be done with or without them. :hug:
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello NeverHappy,
    I think you need to think about what you want. Your talking about commiting suicide on one hand. And you are talking about meeting this young lady. You know if you let her know you are suicidal, that will be the end before you even got a chance to get to know each other.
    You need to find your own place and the hell with your family. I was in a similar boat where I didn't talk to my family for six years. They were searching for me with a private dick. I finally called my mom to let her know she was going to be a grandma. I agree with the others, if you are going to commit suicide don't do it just to get back at someone. You'll be dead and they won't even think about you after the funeral. So what do you gain by doing it. Good luck with your lady friend!!!
  7. Ozibuna

    Ozibuna Well-Known Member

    Seems like you've pretty much made your choice already.
  8. NeverHappy

    NeverHappy Well-Known Member

    Nope. Nowhere I can go. Don't have the money and I'll be too busy with college work to get a job.

    Ha, don't think you're qualified to make that statement.
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Can you get any public assistance, Or can you get a govt. loan for school so you can get a room on campus. I am just trying to come up with some ideas for you. Right now that is all I can come up with. My mind is all garbled up. I will keep trying to find options for you...
  10. NeverHappy

    NeverHappy Well-Known Member

    I'm looking for something now, but it seems futile.

    And I forgot to mention - I'm in the UK, so college here isn't quite the same as in the US.

    Just so you know, I'm 16, which makes finding accomodation that much more difficult.
  11. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi Neverhappy. If I were in your situation, I wouldn't give my hateful family the satisfaction of causing my death. You know that they hate you. Instead of planning your own demise, why not instead think of <mod edit Robin: Promoting Harm> . See how they like it. Your family is supposed to love and support you through this difficult time, but instead they hate you and wish that you were dead. Don't let them win. Show them that your life is worth more than that.
  12. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    You know what you should do?
    You should tell your sister this thing:
    "When i will kill myself, i will take you with me!"
    Trust me, your sister will shut up for the next 20 years...

    Some people who know im suicdial (who are not my freands)
    too afraid to tell me something i wouldnt like, just becouse thay know i have nothing to loose
    So no one ever loughed (or anythign ales) at me beein depressed or suicdial.
  13. NeverHappy

    NeverHappy Well-Known Member

    Meet up soon. Somehow I get the impression that she'll call it off (she's called off planned meetings so many times before). If she does I'll feel terrible. She is the only person who has been friendly to me in the last five years of my life. I view her as a friend though I don't think she views me as one. Understandble as we barely know one another.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 4, 2008
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