Just one more..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DarkKnight09, Jul 12, 2013.

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  1. DarkKnight09

    DarkKnight09 Member

    Every night for the past 2 weeks I've been taking pills at night and chasing them with a shot or two of vodka and I'm still here .. I've upped it by one pill every night and still I'm here . Idk if I need to mix pills or just down the bottle of pills and bottle of vodka and be done with it . I'm trying build an immune so I don't throw up but I'm sick of waiting . I've Waited to long to do this . Maybe tommorrow night instead of just one more it be just a bottle more .. I need more .
     
  2. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Hi. It sounds like things must be pretty horrible if you are doing this. Can you talk about whats going on thats making you feel this suicidal?
     
  3. DarkKnight09

    DarkKnight09 Member

    1. Bipolar
    2.depression
    3. Stopped taking prozac
    4. Started drinking
    5. Had a bilateral mastectomy
    6. Had a hysterectomy and oopherectomy . So I am 22 yrs old going thru surgical menopause which is 10x worse than normal menopause and it will last the next 30-40 yrs . (Hot flashes . Night sweats.Insomnia .Irritability)
    7. Unable to work cause of surgeries.
    8. Am bouncing around from house to house can't stay anywhere for more than 3 or 4 days and can't afford live on my own.
    9. Constantly fighting with my girlfriend.
    10. Can't do anything with my life cause I messe up before (jobs,college,credit score , student loans)
    11. Lost all friends like 100% of them.
    12. Don't have family to turn to for help or support
    13 . Hate my body
    14 . Nothing is working for me
    15. I just don't care anymore and my existence is stressing out alot of other people and making there life worse
    16. Can't sleep anymore.
    17.I just want to. Is my life . My choice .
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Your choice also to reach out to your doctor a councilor someone to help you through all this and to get you stable with meds therapy and to show you future can also be bright not all darkness hun hugs
     
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