Just one pill, and i want more..

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Lorax, Sep 3, 2013.

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  1. Lorax

    Lorax Well-Known Member

    I took a single Tramadol, to kill one of my stress-headaches. Few days back, but it made my mind start wanting more.

    I'm out of anything, but i'm just yearning for anything now. Have a bad history with those, now i remember why. Not sure how to get over the urge..

    I actually feel a lot of pain right now, but i can't take anything.. Most things don't work on me. Guess i'll just try to sleep. Wish me luck.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there, perhaps other painkillers won't work because you have grown a tolerance? Opioid addiction is a very serious one, you should check with your doctor to see if there are any local help groups. Try and fight the urge for now but please do talk to someone :hug:
     
  3. Ima.robot

    Ima.robot Senior Member

    I can relate. I live with pain in my knees and been taking tylenol 3s lately(not everyday though).< edit mod total eclipse deleted amt of meds taken>. Right on the edge of liver damage Im an idiot. I like it cause it numbs the pain and the high gets my mind off of things.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 3, 2013
  4. Lorax

    Lorax Well-Known Member

    Post yesterday:
    Took some Zolpidem for sleep. Bad idea as it turns out, think it was close to expiration.

    I got over the urge for now. My head stopped hurting today, so i think it helped get me through. One of my new meds actually helps with cravings, kinda nice.
     
  5. Lorax

    Lorax Well-Known Member

    Didn't want to spam threads.

    Same predicament. Took something for an unbearable pain in my back.

    Got hit by the standard narcotic "high" took another one after. They've since worn off, but i just want more..

    Really anything to stop feeling "normal" and be happy again..
     
  6. Ima.robot

    Ima.robot Senior Member

    Yeah, us people with mental issues once we discover that drugs can(temporarily) make us feel better it really is hard to stop wanting them. Can be a vicious cycle that in the long run makes things worse. Im lucky im out of my prescription for narcs, I liked those too much like you. Had to even go to the hospital one day I wasnt trying to OD or anything I just took too many trying to get a high(be careful with those!!). So lately ive been smoking weed again and cant seem to quit cigs because a nicotine buzz is better than nuthin. Such a life chasing that sweet escape, isnt it?
     
  7. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    I know how you feel. I'm an opiate addict and still craving even though I've stayed clean for quite a while now. I have plenty of zolpidem, but unfortunately I've grown to hate the high that those give me. All it is is just this really weird feeling of confusion and discomfort for me. Sucks, cause I actually used to like it at one point but once you've had opiates, nothing else seems to compare.
     
  8. Ima.robot

    Ima.robot Senior Member

    Seriously, congrats for being clean from opiates. As someone who has trouble just stopping stuff like weed and smokes, I cant imagine how hard it must be to stop an opiate addiction. It really is an accomplishment.
     
  9. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Thank you :) Yes, it is extremely hard. 8 months later, and I still get tempted by stuff I see on TV, places I go to, music, etc. I try to avoid being around temptation as much as possible but to be honest, it's everywhere. And even if I avoid everything on the outside, I still can't avoid what's inside my head. I can't count the number of times I've had drug dreams and woke up depressed as hell. But what's stopping me from acting on it is the fact that I have a husband who's also been through everything I've been through and more and he's staying clean now as well and I don't want to screw that up. No matter how much I want it, it doesn't seem worth possibly losing something like that.
     
  10. Ima.robot

    Ima.robot Senior Member

    No prob, keep it going! The fantasy of getting high is always greater than the reality of getting high.
     
  11. Maedchen

    Maedchen Well-Known Member

    Dear Lorax,

    please don't ruin your health.
    You are needed.

    Much love, Maedchen. :redrose:
     
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