Just proved to myself how pathetic I really am, tried but did not get very far...

Went up to having two glasses filled with <mod edit: method> in it...brought one to my lips so many times without managing to drink it because I was scared... finally managed...and stopped at a tiny sip... just that was so horrible I could not get myself to drain the glass...and now not only am I clearly still alive, but I'm feeling even more wretched than before, more depressed, wanting to die even more, and with that horrid acid feeling at the back of my throat...

I just want to live happily or die...I can't manage neither one nor the other... somebody help

 

Well looks as though nobody around... I guess i'll just crawl into my bed now and hope sleep will help in some way ... I just wish it was eternal sleep though =_____=

 

no ur not alone, im here if u wanna chat
its ok to be scared
we all get a little scared sometimes....
you can be happy xx

 

Ty...

 

being afraid helps to know that you are alive, maybe there is something keeping you here that you havent thought of, it seems that way for me.
no one is pathetic, just human.
take care my friend