I just want it to be over. I don't want to get better. I just want to be gone. Man, if only I could forget about my parents. If only they were dead, it would be so much easier. But they are only in their mid-sixties. I don't want to wait that long. My husband deserves more than a wife that merely survives. I go to a therapist 2-4 times a month just to be my real self for 50 minutes, but I don't want help. But this is such a miserable way to live. I'm not even depressed about anything in particular anymore. I just don't want to be here anymore.