Just Reaching Out

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by canucklady, Nov 11, 2010.

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  1. canucklady

    canucklady Active Member

    I am having terrible flashbacks and panic attacks. Fall is always bad time for me, and Nov 11th is worst day. It is ironic, on Rembrance Day, I remember yet, but not soldiers, I remember another battle, a battle I lost, a battle where part of me died and ex-boyfriend took part of my soul.

    So I called doctor today, left message. I can barely remember what I said. She called me back right away. She made appointment for tomorrow morning at 8 am, so trying to hang on for 12 hours. I tried calling a few friends but then feel guilty bothering them with this. So I am writing here instead.

    Like I said am having flashbacks. Hearing programs on TV, hearing ceremonies, seeing poppies just brings images back. Thank God it wasn't raining today, I think that would have pushed me over the edge.

    Thing is, now I that have appointment, I am not sure what to tell her tomorrow morning. I usually get there and then I freeze and don't know what to say. All I know is that this year has been worse then others. There is alot more detail that I am remembering.

    I hope this post makes some sense.
     
  2. Juliaa

    Juliaa Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you're going through this :hug:
    But it's fantastic that you called a doctor instead of doing something rash.
    Just tell her exactly what you said here.
    You'll be okay <3
     
  3. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    do you want to talk about the ex-boyfriend?
     
  4. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    if you are worried about what to say and that you might freeze up why not write it out ahead of time and give the letter to her to read. that might help. i get flashbacks, too. i use a trick to ground myself. i look around the room for 5 items that are blue (pick any colour), then 4 things i hear, then 3 things i smell, 2 things i can touch/feel and one thing i love. repeat as needed. the other thing i try and remember is that the flashback is about something that already happened to me once. even though it feels like i am reliving it, i try to remember that i am not. the event was in the past. my abuser can no longer hurt me. hope you hang in there and good luck tomorrow morning.
     
  5. canucklady

    canucklady Active Member

    wow 1 year has gone by and reading this post....this time of year still gets me down
     
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