just read and judge....please

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by veronica, Sep 21, 2006.

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  1. veronica

    veronica Member

    Hey... I'm new here and I need your help!!!

    How am I?? I feel like screaming... I don't know were to beging, but I feel like shit... I hate everything about me... I feel fat , ugly and depressed... I'm 16 yrs old, 155 cm short and weigh 61 kg.... Maybe I am... I started cutting 2 yrs ago... and noe I'm addicted to it, but I don't wanna quit... I hate living at home, I think about suicide 24-7, always.... Don't say go talk to someone, I don't wanna, I wouldn't know what to say... And I can't talk to my parents, but I guess you all know that... My parents have been divorced sience I wa two.. And I hate all 4 of them, but I hate my dad and his "girlfriend" the most, they are the fattest, ugliest and the most mean ppl I know... and I'm living with them now... I want to get a apartment but they won't let me... Mum says I can get one.... but my dad says no(of course, it's something I want)..... I'm so sick of it all and I can't take this any more... I'm either gonna runaway or commit suicide.. All I can thik of is to get out of this fu***ng place... I just wanna be happy... Don't I diserve that??:unsure:

    And ever since my "friends" abandon me(cause I cut) I've lost all hope of this world... I have started in a new school this year... I've been there for almost 5 weeks and I haven't found a friend...

    Maybe my problems aren't as important aseveryone elses but I just had to get this out of me...

    Can someone please help me or I will soon commit suicide <Abacus21 - mod edit: methods>
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 21, 2006
  2. Jenova

    Jenova Well-Known Member

    Well what is the problem with your parents?
    I know when I was younger I hated my parents too, I was angry and frustrated with them all the time. I couldn't wait to get out on my own. However, now that I have kids I see things a lot differently. Parents aren't perfect, far from it. Most parents do the best they can and they don't always know what the right thing to do is. There is a lot that adults forget about the teenage years and life changes so quickly that they often feel out of touch and don't know how to help you.

    On the other hand though, some parents are abusive or cruel. Maybe you should describe your situation so that we all have a better idea how to help you. I'll say now though, that your parents giving you a curfew or not allowing you to go to parties is not cruel or abusive :)



    J.
     
  3. veronica

    veronica Member

    well.... my parents don't hurt me physical but psyc.... They tell me everything I do I do wrong... And they always tell me to clean my room... They never let me just be, they always have to be on my shoulder telling me what to do...
     
  4. dink

    dink Well-Known Member

    Just being yourself should be enough. Sometimes parents forget how hard it is to be a teenager. Don't run away and don't kill yourself. Yo don't have that much longer before you can go out tand be on your own. "Count the days and put up with the sh*t". Sometimes that is all that we can really do. Is there any way that you can go and live with your mom? It sounds like the relationship is a better one.

    I can't judge you. I can only judge myself. I don't like mysel and have ben a cutter for the majority of my life so I understand that part of it. Let me know if there is anything that I can do for you.
     
  5. veronica

    veronica Member

    well... i could live with my mom, but then I'll have to go with the bus that goes 7.17 wgen i start 10.10 but thats maybe something i have to do...
     
  6. dink

    dink Well-Known Member

    It may be a good option for you. SOme times a little bit of inconvienience is worth it in the long run. If your mom will be more supportive towards you then I think that you should really look into it. Especially if you are really unhappy at your dad's place.
     
  7. veronica

    veronica Member

    yes... but i don't know what to tell my dad... i just don't wanna tell him: i'm moving to mom, I don't wanna live with you...
     
  8. Bruz

    Bruz Member

    maybe thats what he needs, when me and my dad used to argue badly he always used to threaten to throw me out, then one time I said fine I am going... I didn't end up going (not sure if I regret this...) I think it shocked him alot and he's never said it since and we don't argue as badly now (but i wouldn't say we were best buddies either)

    maybe he needs something like that to realise that he needs to appreciate his daughter.
     
  9. veronica

    veronica Member

    Okay, but I have to wait until my paycheck comes... And then they have to transfer into my account... And I have to stay until then, but I don't think it will be a problem if I stay with my mum... I really have to get out of here... And I won't be able to get out of here for at least 10 days:sad: :sad: :sad: :mad: :mad:
     
  10. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I agree.


    I'm here if ya need me. :hug:



    by the way, welcome to SF hun.


    xxx
     
  11. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    That's probably what you actually SHOULD tell him. The truth hurts, but if you feel like suicide is the only option living with your dad, get outta there.
     
  12. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    :agreed:
     
  13. veronica

    veronica Member

    okay... I think I'm gonna do that today.... I hope... I just woke up my life is like an living hell.... "if this live, who fears death"
     
  14. Jenova

    Jenova Well-Known Member

    Veronica,
    So far it really sounds like the regular teenage drama. Don't get me wrong, it is still important but also very normal. You are getting older and you want to be your own person. You are struggling to become an adult and your parents treat you like a child. This stage in life really sucks for a lot of people. It's kind of a 1/2 way point. You're growing up really fast and yet you're still considered a kid. I remember being 16 like it was yesterday. Try not to blame your parents too much. Parents often feel at a loss to deal with what you're going through. Many forget what it's like but your parents are mere mortals just like the rest of us. They will try to do the best they can, not that it will always be right.

    I can tell you now, I felt amazing when I moved out on my own BUT I soon wished I was back home. You never realize how much you miss the comforts of your family until it is gone. One day you WILL be on your own and you'll realize it's not all it's cracked up to be. I know this sounds like something your parents would say but I think you should try to stick it out.

    It may be a better idea to live with your mom but keep in mind, you still need rules and she SHOULD have you follow them. I know no teenager wants to hear it but rules are neccessary and your parents don't have them to ruin your life, they're to keep you safe.

    Good luck,

    J.
     
  15. veronica

    veronica Member

    well I don't get homesick and I won't be... I can't wait to get out of this hell hole... and when I'm gone, I'm going and never coming back...
     
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