Hey, I was looking for a place to share my thoughts with someone anonymously. I just registered today. I am currently a student at a University and living a life that is not particularly interesting. I have a good family, and some friends who support me. I am certainly not complaining about this, and I am fortunate, but there is one thing that did bother me all my life: I was treated for cancer when I was 2 years old and this gave my face a physical disability. It is very visible and I can feel the stares every single day when I either take the public transport to school or whenever I leave the house. Throughout my years in High School, I did not really have any friends that were there for me, they were just acquaintances that I talked to, but no one would really stayed with me for long. I was always spending my entire summers and weekends alone in my house either playing video games or watching movies. Now I have friends, but I know they are still not fully comfortable with the way I look and do not always want me to accompany them in public. I don't blame them, and they are far from bad people, but it is really hard for me to feel motivated to leave my house anymore. I was at an all time low last month when I almost went to sleep...permanently. I thought that I had chance of going out with one girl I had fallen in love with. I do not usually feel this way, but she seemed different and was extremely nice to me. Turned out I was wrong and when I expressed my interest in her, she ignored me and stopped talking to me. I really have a hard time expressing myself right now, because I have never done this before, but felt the need to do it. Now the stress is slowly taking me. I always look at everyone around me, scared that they are eyeballing me and judging me. I just want things to change or to stop forever.