Just Repeating Myself

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Forgotten_Man, Nov 18, 2013.

  1. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    #Random Blah
    So I guess I just feel like taking up database space here. I am not really going to ask for any particular issue in my life. There are plenty of issues in my life that I can waste tons of time writing about. Feel free to pick any one you might have a thought on.

    First off, I am sick of my family. My family is such a wonderful bunch you know. They spend all of the time I had to be around them away from me. Now 10 years later they all of the sudden miss me and want to be a part of my life. It is driving me up the wall. All of the sudden I am the bad guy because I have no sentimental feelings towards them. All of them seek another round of forgiveness after their previous failed attempts and they continue to annoy me. I just wish they would go back to the way things were when I was a kid. They were all to busy being cool and outgoing to spend any time with me. Life was easier then, and I prefer it to what I have to deal with now.

    I mean it is not like I have any sentiment towards people anyway. I mean I am planning on moving to a new state next year so I can cut ties with all my social connections here. The very few that I have, mainly family. Once I am there I can be alone. I really see no point in making friends. Even people who I share interests with do not see eye to eye with me. It is just easier to be alone. The only reason I might want another human in my life is for sex. I mean I avoid females as much as possible. I know that they do not want to have sex with me. Even if they might desperately just want to have sex it is not worth the effort to get it. I do not care for males either because I have yet to meet anyone who shares my views. I only meet those people online. The only reason I might accidentally meet people is because I am going through the motions.

    I am not one to dismiss the chance that things might change. That is why I workout, cosplay, and plan for retirement. I know that maybe I can win the lottery, of some kind, and life might be worth living. However, I do not want to have to live with decades of damage to my body because I am just planning on killing myself when my cat dies. That is years off and there is nothing that I can really do other than keep to myself and wait for her to die. I know that I will die when her time comes. There is a reason why they call the lottery a tax on those who do not understand statistics.

    I mean it is not like I did not try for 8 months to become social and fix my flaws. I really did try, I went the whole 9 yards, as they say. I went out and bought nicer cloths, I groomed myself up, I approached groups and spoke to them. 8 months of achieving making people feel awkward, weird, creeped out. 8 months and I did not so much as get a single name from anyone. Females were particularly bad once they learned I was not going to pay for their attention. So it is not like I did not go out and waste a very large chunk of my life trying to figure the stuff that I should have figured out in grade school. I gave it an honest attempt, no matter what most people might say. I also love when people add insult to injury.

    After hearing my failure about socializing I am given the most insulting line anyone could possibly say to another person "Maybe you should lower your standards". It is nicer to just agree that I should give up. I mean christ, why would you ever say that to another person? I mean anyone who says that knows full well they would not like to hear it so why bother saying it to me? I would rather them just tell me to get what I can rather than try to get what I want. At least that is nicer than trying to gently put me down. The only thing that is worse is when people tell me how shocked they are that I have these problems.

    I am not sure what is worse to be honest. People telling me to lower my standards or talking about how they are just shocked, amazed, flabbergasted, surprised, upset that such a catch like me is single. At least when I am told to lower my standards people are being honest with me. However, when people just outright lie to me about how shocked they are that such a handsome interesting guy is single.... yeah I am not sure what to say or feel. I mean god, do you really like boosting your ego so much that you would lie to a loser? Then again, I guess more often than not other people actually believe the lie. The only reason why I get some amusement out of it is because I get to see their face when I explain to them I have been hearing that line for over a decade. None actually know what to say then at least then I can amuse myself with the conversation then. I guess I get some joy out of watching all their empty charity drain out of them as I explain how I have not met anyone in years. How they are only saying this because they are not attracted to me and can write it off as "well I am not single" or something like that. However, those conversations are rare as I just stay in and play video games.

    Anyway, thanks for wasting your time on this post. I am well aware I am beyond help and I am not going to go to therapy. Thanks for wasting your time on this post. If you have any thoughts feel free to share them
     
  2. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    omg lower your standards???? no, no, no. Don't, picky is good. I find that it's better to be alone than in a bad relationship just for the sake of not being alone. From what i read, it sounds like we see eye to eye on that. People who say that, are unhappy and scared to be alone. As if being in a relationship is everything. Sure it's nice to have a mate, a partner, but if you fight all the time, never get along etc...what's the point? Being in a relationship should be natural and a happy experience (with the occasional fight) and it should happen for the right reasons...idk that's my thought on it

    I've been pretty discouraged lately with family, friends and dating...so I hear ya...wish I had good advice for that, but I struggle in that as well, so all I can do is :hug:
     
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I cannot say that I have been discouraged with dating, I have to actually get dates for that to be a problem. I have not willingly spoken to a female for 2 years now. I have just given up. I don't even give good advice. I advise people to just give up. That is easier than trying. It just seems like forever till my cat dies. I just want to kill myself and get it over with.
     
  4. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I understand...it is easy to give up, especially when you've tried and tried with no positive result. But don't give up. I believe that eventually things unblock and you can succeed, but I also believe it tends to take more tries, as if to perfect yourself for what's to come...
     
  5. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Everyone says not to give up, but I already have. I guess that I am just unworthy if I need to put extra work into something that the majority of people can figure out with no problem. So I will just remain blocked because at minimum I can enjoy the time I would waste failing.