Just revealed a HUGE secret to my sisters, I feel exposed...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Lonely83, Mar 18, 2013.

  1. Lonely83

    Lonely83 Active Member

    I just told my sisters I was molested by my relatives since 9, this secret I’d been keeping it close to my heart for 21 years.....Long story short, after my sis and I talked on phone tonight, few hours later my two sisters both came at my hse unannounced demand me to tell them what it is that cause me to be single and never date in my life, otherwise they wouldn't leave...

    Now that I told them, I don't feel relief...I don't feel a weight lift off my shoulders...I just feel exposed, naked, I felt I lost something close to my heart...

    How could I deal with this new feeling....?? It really bothered me....
  2. CharlieTrucker

    CharlieTrucker New Member

    Revealing secrets, especially painful ones, will always leave u feeling vulnerable and uncertain. You may have lost something close to your heart but it was a something that shouldn't have been there in the 1st place. A something that was forced upon you unwillingly. It can be hard to let go of hurt, you own it, it's your's. But it's toxic, oh so very toxic. It's great that you finally decided to tell someone though. It's perhaps the 1st step in bleeding that poison out of your system. Secrets can be like addictions, hard as hell to get rid of, but in time you can recover. Much respect.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I understand hun how fragile you feel right now how vulnerable but you hun did good to finally tell someone Now perhaps you can with help of your sisters get the therapy you need to start healing hun hugs
  4. Lonely83

    Lonely83 Active Member

    Thanks for the kind msgs. It is so true, right on point...secrets are like addictions, and I own the hurt yet it was so toxic, now I feel like there is a hole in my heart....It feel so weird that I want to hold on to this secret, I want to grab it back in my heart even though it is toxic. I feel like I am masochist...

    they suggest me to go therapy as there are other pasts that really bother me too, but I don't wanna get help, I don't see light in my life, I just want to end my life soon.
  5. Much afraid

    Much afraid Well-Known Member

    Dear Lonely83, that reaction is pretty much how I felt about counseling. If I'm honest though, even though its hard to get started, to find someone to build some trust with, if I don't have the opportunity to meet for some reason I miss it (more than the secret that got me started.)

    It's hard to hang in there some days but please keep talking with folks here. I think they're good people who truly know what it's like to experience the things of our toxic secrets. There may not be any light right now but it does glimmer every so often when you "talk" things out a bit. I'm keeping good thoughts for you. ♥