I always feel awkward posting on forums, especially if I don't even know what the forum is really like. So, here goes - Hi, halo, bonjour, hello, heya. I've not read through this forum, I don't know what it's really about. Don't even know how I came across it. I also find it difficult to think of what on earth I want to say. Like, I'm not really gonna write anything, however anonymous it may be, for, I dunno. I find it hard to write about myself. To believe that it's fair for me to waste others time. For that's what I'm doing, wasting people's time. I'm beginning to think that maybe I can choose life. I don't know. I know that I have to choose, for I hate the constant battle I have with myself, whether I should or shouldn't live. I want peace. I want calm. I want freedom. However much I want to end it, I somewhat also want to live. I don't know which part of me I'm going to end up listening to. Why I want to live is to help others live. Which seems stupid, for what on earth is the point of anyone living. Oh well, so hello to this forum. Maybe I'll one day know what it's about. And re-reading this, I'm acting so defensive before I even know what it's about. sorry .