Just saying Hi

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by letty, Jan 12, 2012.

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  1. letty

    letty Banned Member

    Hi there everyone. I am here because I dont know where to turn to. I was doing ok for the last couple of years, but my mom past away on new years eve. and that triggered
    alot of emotions bad emotions. I was taken from her when I was young. I was molested by her boyfriend, and she knew about it. she left her daughters to be with him. when
    she got sick in november I didnt expect her to die, but by christmas we knew she wasnt going to make it. I felt angry, sad, guilt, so many feelings and thoughts. I miss her.
    I wish I had spent time with her, as mother and daughter, and not as a ward of the court.
  2. ItsOkayEllijah

    ItsOkayEllijah Well-Known Member

    You can't change what was said or done before your mother passed. But for now forgive yourself and find it in your heart, even if it takes time, to forgive your mother as well.
  3. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Hi Letty.. welcome to SF..
  4. letty

    letty Banned Member

    Thank you for those videos, I want to get back on my feet again, I feel I'm back down on the curb, I had'nt drank in such a long time or harmed myself, but the guilt and shame I feel over the abuse
    and wishing I could of had more time with my mom made me relapse the music was soothing and I love birds.
  5. letty

    letty Banned Member

    Thanks for your advice I do forgive my mom I just find it hard to forgive myself, shes gone I just wanted to have some time with her. I know I have to move one but this depression is too muchto handle at time, thanks Elijah
  6. letty

    letty Banned Member

    today i go to my moms memorial, i really dont want to go, not because of resentment but of fear of seeing the man that abused me, i have been cutting recently and my sister might put me in the hospital because of other things, suicidal tendacies and so on, I want to run, jump infront of the train do anything so i wont get to the service, I love my mom, im afraid of going. it might sound odd to you all but thats what im thinking.
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