I have to accept how my insomnia does progress and as scary and frustrating it is, insomnia is disruptive, its disruptive to the mood the most. It’ll make me so forgetful on the things I used to enjoy and can’t strive doing things the way I used to like effecting my performance, meds or not. However tired I feel and as long as I am functioning, I can’t let it get in the way of hurting others. Moods can be control and I shan’t beat myself up whenever I can’t complete things. Plans does change and I can’t plan moods to constantly feel better either.
As long as I’ve learned its okay to go slow, it’s no longer about being able to fulfil that 8hours of sleep every night. The new me is more about making an effort to feel rested during the day. I can’t beat myself up for not being able to get sleep every night too cause my body will eventually get exhausted even if I have the disability to not be able to lay down longer. I tend to get worried about how I will ever get sleep and chasing the number hours of ideal sleep. It’s just the thing I am trying to overcome worries and fears that when in distress mode, I have to see both bad and good side of it. I can, however, count the number of good night sleep I get then feels grateful about it even if good nights is not every night and I can accept the bad nights when I don’t have any fever. Insomnia makes me feel like I don’t deserve treatment sometimes, but I love the holistic wellness approach and as much as my body feels like senior citizen, I still need to be aware that I am young and active. I can’t be missing out on life; I really want to be walking around the world.
Being inspired, having intention, purpose, motivation, realistic time management, things to be conscious of like consequences & regrets, boundaries and rewards is one of the tools I’ve learned in the beginning of therapy that’ll stimulate me to be productive, no matter how little the activity is. When in the mood to social, I’m happy to be talking joyful things and about progresses to be monetising to my audience while doing artwork together. It’ll help me be more confident about myself. I love staying curious and satisfying that curiosity, it’s just my personality. Art therapy is the best way to sustain this, it’ll make me discover ways to express and learn about myself. It’s fun and however tired I feel, I hope I can continue doing what makes me feel good so I won’t forget yet I can do things to forget what I am stress about. If there are days that are sedentary because of the bad nights, actually, putting self-care routine does count as being productive, it doesn’t make me feel like I’m leading to burn outs with recovery anymore if I were to be practicing doing things long term healthily.
I’m just doing variety of things that’ll help me stop being obsessive over how melancholy it can be when there’s no one to talk to about my frustrations with recovery daily. Deep down, I would know that the more I’m managing things, the more I won’t think about it.
Everything is a challenge.
As long as I’ve learned its okay to go slow, it’s no longer about being able to fulfil that 8hours of sleep every night. The new me is more about making an effort to feel rested during the day. I can’t beat myself up for not being able to get sleep every night too cause my body will eventually get exhausted even if I have the disability to not be able to lay down longer. I tend to get worried about how I will ever get sleep and chasing the number hours of ideal sleep. It’s just the thing I am trying to overcome worries and fears that when in distress mode, I have to see both bad and good side of it. I can, however, count the number of good night sleep I get then feels grateful about it even if good nights is not every night and I can accept the bad nights when I don’t have any fever. Insomnia makes me feel like I don’t deserve treatment sometimes, but I love the holistic wellness approach and as much as my body feels like senior citizen, I still need to be aware that I am young and active. I can’t be missing out on life; I really want to be walking around the world.
Being inspired, having intention, purpose, motivation, realistic time management, things to be conscious of like consequences & regrets, boundaries and rewards is one of the tools I’ve learned in the beginning of therapy that’ll stimulate me to be productive, no matter how little the activity is. When in the mood to social, I’m happy to be talking joyful things and about progresses to be monetising to my audience while doing artwork together. It’ll help me be more confident about myself. I love staying curious and satisfying that curiosity, it’s just my personality. Art therapy is the best way to sustain this, it’ll make me discover ways to express and learn about myself. It’s fun and however tired I feel, I hope I can continue doing what makes me feel good so I won’t forget yet I can do things to forget what I am stress about. If there are days that are sedentary because of the bad nights, actually, putting self-care routine does count as being productive, it doesn’t make me feel like I’m leading to burn outs with recovery anymore if I were to be practicing doing things long term healthily.
I’m just doing variety of things that’ll help me stop being obsessive over how melancholy it can be when there’s no one to talk to about my frustrations with recovery daily. Deep down, I would know that the more I’m managing things, the more I won’t think about it.
Everything is a challenge.