I'm just so damn tired of it all... the isolation, the sh*tty, backbreaking job that doesn't come close to paying my bills and the search for yet another sh*tty job. The constant phone calls about my bills, my desire for/fear of intimacy of other people, no boyfriend and stuck alone with just my dog and the hours of crying. and insenstive people with their empty, "fluffy" replies to my problems. I'm already a burden on society with my food stamps and medicaid and I'm NOT going on welfare. My parents are up in their age, don't want to be around when mom goes. That will be too painful to deal with. 1 brother in his 50's on disablity. I have no other connections, no husband or children (thank God)! I think if things don't improve for me in a year, I'm going to have an "Exit Party." I'll save up and blow money on a nice cruise, get laid, and then kill myself a few days later.