Just so done

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Konoplyanka, Jul 10, 2013.

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  1. Konoplyanka

    Konoplyanka Member

    Well, at the end of this month, my lease to my apartment ends. My two roommates are not willing to let me renew the lease, due to irreconcilable problems and the fact that I haven't been able to pay for rent for the past two months. I owe them both money because of this (about $650), but I have no where else to go, as none of my family live nearby, and my parents are not willing at all to take me back.
    I had been attending university until about February, when the school decided that I was not allowed to attend anymore because I still owed money from the Fall Semester. Combined, I owe maybe about $15000 dollars right now to both the school and the government loan service.
    I've been highly unsuccessful in finding any jobs in the area, and I have no car or driver's license, so job opportunities have been limited to walking distances.
    I'm 21 years old and am now completely broke. I only have $2 to my name in the bank, and $30 in an Amazon gift card. I will have no where to go and no where to stay, and pretty much nothing to live for. I can't even apply to another college, as my university won't release my transcripts anywhere until I pay my debts to them.
    My depression's been pulling me down for the last 3 and a half years, but now I'm seriously never felt so low and so hopeless. I'm just so done with everything, now.
    Thanks for reading.
     
  2. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Have you looked into alternative means to recover and to continue your education? Student loans, for instance? Have you checked with the university to see if they have counselors that you can meet with to discuss your situation, your feelings, depression, hopelessness, etc.? Many universities have a mental health oriented counselor, at the very least, that you could meet with. Perhaps they can help you to sort things out, to direct you to resources, and to assist you in recovering from what you are feeling to be hopeless.

    Life situations DO change. I was once homeless, many years ago, living in the back of my van with my wife and first child. Today I have everything I need and a nice home of our own. Do we owe money? Yes... Home included, probably in debt a few hundred thousand dollars. Such is life. Most people are in debt early on up until they're withered and old. Things are better now than they were once, so I am living proof that material things you do not have are things you can recover from.

    Reach out for some professional assistance when you don't know what else to do. You have to fight and suffer sometimes, which is where you are at right now, but it's worth that struggle to get to a better place.
     
  3. Konoplyanka

    Konoplyanka Member

    Thank you so much. To be honest, I never thought of talking to any counselors from the school about how I feel. Normally I just bottle these feelings up, haha.
    I don't know about that. Honestly my life's been constantly getting worse and worse since I graduated high school, so I really don't think anythings going to be better ever.
     
  4. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni


    It is possible that by sharing how you feel with said counselors, you may find some remedies to your issues with the very school itself. I am associated with one of the larger universities near where I live and I know their mental health director and I know the focus and attention that they put into their students who are suffering depressive issues. They do care. I'd certainly consider trying all avenues in search of positive solutions before defaulting to something more negative and everlasting.
     
  5. Konoplyanka

    Konoplyanka Member

    So you think they'd actually try to help a former student? :x
     
  6. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni


    I can't guarantee that, but if I were a betting kind of person... yeah, I'd lay my money down on that. You have nothing to lose by trying, right?

    My wife has been amazed by my "nothing to lose by trying" attitude. When we shop in stores, I always ask the store when I'm about to buy an item, "Is this your best price?" You would be amazed how many times I get things for a lot less than everyone else is paying. Might not work in a large chain store, but it for sure works almost everywhere else. All they can do is say, "Yes, that is the final price." I respond back: "Okay, didn't hurt to ask."

    It doesn't hurt to ask. Ask them.
     
  7. Konoplyanka

    Konoplyanka Member

    Alright! Haha, will do!
    I have to admit it, it's nice to feel a little hopeful after feeling so gray and black all of the time.
     
  8. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    So excellent to hear. Keep us updated on your progress.
    And... if the above suggestion does not work out, there are other things to try as well. There are almost always other options. The best thing to do when unsure is to network with others (such as on here or in other peer groups) and gain support and suggestions from one another. Many times there are answers that we just don't see. Many times the things that are the closest to us are the furthest away until someone helps to guide us. In any case, your hope today is fantastic! Good luck.
     
  9. Konoplyanka

    Konoplyanka Member

    Did you get any of my messages? :x
     
  10. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni


    Yes... you only sent them to me a few minutes ago, it takes me a few minutes to respond. Check your PM, I replied.
     
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