I am just so tired and sick of life. I have been suicidal and depressed for years. I am so tired of being literally alone, so tired of having no one, so tired of not having anything to look forward to, so tired of going to bed and knowing I will wake up to nothing. It hurts so bad I just want to die. The last three months have been the worst of my life. It has been brought on by trying to help the only person that I feel connected to in my life. She has been in a verbally abusive, violent as in throwing things marriage for at least 17 years. She finally got the courage to leave, but after only two months she went back. She met him when she was 15 and he was 25, her father left her when she was young so to her her husband is a father figure. She had admitted time and time again she does not love him, but it is the right thing to do because her pastor said one day she may learn to love him. She was and is the only bright spot in my other wise depressed and suicidal life, but afrer all of this I feel like I am losing her. I am just so sick of living life, that now it is not if but when I will kill myself.