Just So Tired

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by thereisnone, Jun 18, 2013.

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  1. thereisnone

    thereisnone Member

    Hi everyone,

    I don't really know who else to turn. I just get so angry when I wake up in the morning. I just wish I could go to sleep and never wake up. Honestly, I have a plan that I won't detail here. What's weird too, is that whenever I think about the plan, a certain peace comes over me. I just wish I could turn myself off. I don't want to do this anymore. I am so tired. Fiance of four years left me, laid off from job shortly before that, no friends, nothing to look forward to.

    I just don't want to do this anymore.
  2. fallenangel

    fallenangel Member

    Dear friend,
    I would just like to encourage you to stay strong through this tough period. I guess circumstances had brought you here, but I want you to know that you're never alone...
    I really don't know how you are feeling at this point in time, but I too had my share of depression and darkest moment too...
    And it is in this loneliness that I find myself crumbling and fall.

    But I just want you to know that all these are lies. That the idle mind is the devil's playground, and how else can we let life slipped away then to dwell in depression.

    I pray that you will be able to arise, and uplift your spirit and be positive.

    Channel your emotions to something purposeful that could make you feel better. Exercise perhaps. And you could start getting involved in community activities or even looking for a casual job and you'll meet people and make friends long the way.

    Sober up and be strong!

    Life is precious, and we only live once. What doesn't break us, makes us stronger!

    Hang in there buddy...
  3. thereisnone

    thereisnone Member

    Yeah, its difficult. I'm trying to find a way to afford my medication since I have no insurance and was laid off my job. So visited the community services board last week and made and appointment for today. They said I can get therapy which I appreciate but that they can most likely not prescribe me medication. I simply cannot self pay for a shrink and meds at this point. I am doing the best I can but its quickly becoming all suck.
  4. Tinydancer1

    Tinydancer1 Member

    i know how you feel i also canot work due to illness and my teeth have got in a bad way since being ill and i cannot afford to get them sorted. its making bme so much worse because its all thats on my mind and i have noway of getting any money for it. im really sorry for how your feeling and youve got us to talk to and i really hope you can figure something out x
  5. thereisnone

    thereisnone Member

    Its amazing too, I am a veteran and I thought the VA would help. They refused to help since I had spend over two years overseas in active duty. Needless to say, I felt abandoned by them. Oh well, I will keep trying. Still wake up every morning feeling like I don't want to exist anymore though. Sucks.
  6. coppertop

    coppertop Member

    It seems to be the same in the UK with some ex-servicemen. When they try to return to a 'normal' life, they are treated so unfairly. I noticed a Winston Churchill quote quite recently (he suffered from depression)..... "If you're going through hell, keep going".

    I hope you get the support & help your rightly deserve, keep your chin up.
  7. thereisnone

    thereisnone Member

    Thank you guys, it does help to share. I was in the Army reserve which is the state's version of the territorial army. It is quite dissapointing to see how some service members are treated when it comes to mental health. There are so many homeless vets there in the states. its unacceptable. the homelessness usually coincides with mental disorders as well. its disheartening to say the least. I am trying my best right now but its difficult. The feelings of despair are constantly there. To tell you the truth, i dont want to die, just to cease to exist.
  8. thereisnone

    thereisnone Member

    Update. Still feeling like garbage. But I was able to get some therapy sessions from my local community services board at meager cost ($7 a month). I'm still not doing well however, without my medication so its still very difficult every day. I have a session today but seriously do not feel well unfortunately. I hope my session with the therapist later helps a bit. I'm trying, its just doubly as difficult without my medication.
  9. Louis03

    Louis03 Well-Known Member

    Hey friend. I believe things can change... They do for some. Sometimes people live with depression then they find a purpose. There is hope.
  10. thereisnone

    thereisnone Member

    F * ck this is really really hard today. Just want to die.
  11. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    You need to call Veteran Affairs office - If you are an honorably discharged veteran you can and will get free or reduced cost treatment (including meds) if you qualify financially (not working would qualify if you are not asset rich). This is not a maybe - if your local VA said different then you need to call veteran affairs.

    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 5, 2013
  12. thereisnone

    thereisnone Member

    I need this. It didn't seem like the lady at the VA who turned me away could give any less of a crap when she turned me away. I will call as soon as I can. This is getting way too difficult. Near impossible. I need my medicine, I've tried positive thinking and meditation and it just doesn't work. I was honorably discharged in October last year, but immediately lost my insurance. I hope they can help. It feels so terrible
  13. thereisnone

    thereisnone Member

    God, its like this weight in my chest that won't let me breathe.
  14. thereisnone

    thereisnone Member

    Just wanna flip a switch. Be dead. This is no good.
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