I'm so tired of fighting. I'm tired of having no purpose. I'm tired of struggling. I see my therapist today after my volunteer job, and I don't think I can tell her that all I really want to do is exit stage left. I'm struggling with the thought of writing this all down because I don't want to hear that I should change my mind. It never ends. It never gets better... I'm tired. I'm cooked. I'm really hoping a gator picks me off tomorrow while I go herping. I'd prefer something faster, but I can't be too picky when begging the universe for an end... I really don't want to volunteer today. I wouldn't mind hiding in my therapist's office for a while, but I don't want to spill my secret. I know I should probably tell her, but I don't want to end up in the country facility. I'm just so tired... and nothing helps. Nothing brings relief.