just so very very tired

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by total eclipse, Mar 22, 2010.

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  1. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    so hard to understand i just want it to end i do so badly but how how do i do this without causing them pain I just want peace the sadness to go away is that too much to ask i need the sadness to go away oh god it will never end none of it tomorrow i fight again to find my duaghter help again and again and again i am so tired so dam tired i wish i could just take her with me that way we would both be at peace god i am tired i am sorry maybe tomorrow will bring better news maybe take care
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    So sorry you are feeling so awful...know how valuable you are and how many ppl care about you...J
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Violet I so hope tomorrow does bring better news......
    as for today.. take care of you...hugs
  4. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

  5. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    :hug: you can pull through this, you are so strong. i know how you feel and your kind words have helped me everytime i feel utterly hopeless :hug: you are amazing
  6. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

  7. max0718

    max0718 Well-Known Member

    We're here for you Violet. :hug:

    Hope you find the strength that I know you have inside you!
  8. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    Vi :hug: :hug:
  9. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    oh we stepped out for just aminute and the call came now we have to wait until wed or thurs I just want her to get help lord somehow someone needs to help her becuase i can't i tried she needs someone to help her somehow get into her head and get her to heal somehow because i am too weak and getting weaker i don't want to hurt anyone i just need her to get help please someone help her please she is young she can heal if she gets the proper help she can make something of her life just need a lttle more time energy to get her help then i can have peace i want to make sure she is take careof she is all i care abt now.
  10. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    I don't exactly understand what's going on. Nonetheless, I hope everything improves soon. :Hug:
  11. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    So frustrating The doctor now tells my duaghter that she doesn't think rehab will help her and that she needs to get out and get a job. lol how is she to work if she is high on pot or drinking she needs detox first get help with her addictions then get a job NOOOOO the doctor says get her a job that is what she needs so let her fail again that will bring her self esteem up jesus this is frustration now daughter doesn't want to go to rehab just friggin lovely.
  12. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think the only way to make her grow up is for me to be gone She will never grow up with me here never I am sorry i failed her but if i leave she will have to find inner srength like i did and grow up she will have to.
  13. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry they mucked you around again..Gees..what are they thinking??
    I don't think your daughter will survive without you Violet....if you hurt yourself she most likely will follow....
    we don't want to lose you.....
    I don't believe you have failed her..she is failing herself..
  14. max0718

    max0718 Well-Known Member

    Hi Violet,

    I'm not sure what to say, as I can't imagine what pain you're going through right now. Just know this - we often find strength at the most unusual and unexpected times and something or someone may come along at any moment to change your life. I sincerely hope you find some strength for you and your daughter. But if you feel your struggling, just remember that you need to help yourself first before you can help your daughter. YOUR life is just as important as your daughter's and don't for one moment think otherwise. You're a rare, strong and special person for coping with all you've been dealt in life. I truly hope you realize that!

    All the best,

  15. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    No Max my life is not as important she is all that matters to me she is all i care abt i need her to get well to get strong I need this dam illness to go away okay make it go away from her please god.
  16. cinZamurai

    cinZamurai Well-Known Member

    Hi violet, you know I kind of like you and I dont say that about a lot of people =).

    You commented on my sensitive post´s and where honest and kind to me.
    I think you know what I am thinking as to how you matter for your daughter.
    She will look to you Violet even if you are right that she will need to open the door her self, she needs you to have a soft place to fall, a place where she can get validation and remember who she really is. So very few know the inside of a person, the few who does are the most valuable people they have in life.

    Just as I must carry on even when it hurts so much, neither can you afford to give up and for the same reasons... we love our family and they simply need us to carry on. You have a to beautiful heart and to much still to give Violet. You know, she will always need her mother, its one of the good thing in her life and you guys can work on her self-esteem and future, there is still time.

    Take care Violet!
  17. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Yeh she will always need me on her side because no one gets it She doens't know what to do or how to do it. She can't find her way out yet. I keep trying to show her Someday she will get well someday I fought the fight all alone and was strong for awhile but it hurt so bad I can't let her feel that pain I just need to sleep then try another way another approach someday she will be my girl again someday Thanks for helping me okay i understand i do.
  18. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi violet, Sorry you're going through this :hug:
    I don't understand your doctors line of thinking, if the best he could come up with was 'get a job' then maybe it's time to see someone else. Hope it works out for you!
  19. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think she just wants her to grow up too. she wants her to have friends she wants her kept busy so her mind does not get her into trouble One day at atime i hope this way works out for her because i don't want her to go away anymore i want her well thats all i ever wanted was her strong and well enough so she could have alife on her own. it will happen someday she will find a way she will somehow it will get better it will.
  20. max0718

    max0718 Well-Known Member

    Obviously we all hope for that as well, but I just hope you find some time for yourself as well! All the best to you both!
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