just some words

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by noplacetogo, Aug 31, 2007.

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  1. noplacetogo

    noplacetogo Well-Known Member

    I was unsure where to put this. I suffer from suicidal feelings, so this is as best a place as any i suppose...I don't know. I'm feeling alone. I mean this time...I think this is it. For a moment I thought I'd be ok. i thought maybe i could try to be alive, do things, be someone, care, forget.. I seriously started to believe things could change, I can change, but now...i just feel empty again, alone...in the worse way. I had this notion that I could actually salvage this life somehow, make a friend or two...live to live, grow old...die like a normal human being. I'm trapped in a life I don't want anymore. i'm trapped in this body i don't need. i wish i had a soul and i wish there was redemption...but i hope for nothing. I wish sleep came easy...
     
  2. JustWatchMeChange

    JustWatchMeChange Well-Known Member

    I believe we all have souls and God loves us so much that He brings pain to our lives when we are not leaning on Him and in His will. I do understand, I have felt so alone since I found out my wife was trying to murder me. So betrayed, but we don't know the future and who knows? Suicide is never the answer and I would love to die and go home, but instead I will find people who need help and help as my Father who loves me wants me to do. As for sleep, I would have no chance if I did not use Lunesta or Ambien CR. Talk to your doc. Hope this helps.
     
  3. noplacetogo

    noplacetogo Well-Known Member

    thanks for replying JustWatchMeChange, but i don't believe in god. sorry about your wife trying to murder you. that sucks.
     
  4. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    No matter what background or age, we all have the ability & potential to make life better for ourselves and each other. It seems like you came out of that dark place only to fall back into it. It shows you can overcome the pain, so why not keep fighting on since you've proven you can do it.
     
  5. noplacetogo

    noplacetogo Well-Known Member

    thanks Mystic Eyes. i've been struggling with this dark place for a really long time. i thought there was a chance for me, but i'm wrong. some people are just hopeless. i will always be this way, always fighting with these thoughts...always waiting for the day when i have enough courage to forget living for them and die for me. i can keep fighting to live, but i can't fight who i am. i will always be me, and that's the saddest part. thanks for the reply though.
     
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