Just something i want to share...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Summer.Rain, Jun 6, 2008.

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  1. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Hi all
    In such times when there are so many dark and cruel posts
    i want to share something good that happend to at least one of us.
    I think that sometimes it is good to share positive things too.

    Anyways my story is simle but it makes me smile :)
    Today i took a walk to the beach, i was alone as always, smoked some
    cigaretes and bough a bottle of cocal cola, i ussaly do so when im bored.
    There was nothing spacial about the beach but when i start to make my
    way back home, there was a young lady with a little kid.
    the kid was like, 2 years old or something like that, he didnt want to follow
    his mom and when i pass near him, his mom was like "come or the this yong guy
    over there will take you away", well the guy was me, and when she said it
    the kid looked at me, and jumped in total shock, it was so funny, his mom
    loughd and i just couldnt hold myself and smiled.
    Then a really warm though came to my mind, i always wanted
    to have kids, even though im young (23), to have a baby is my biggest
    dream, it makes me so happy when i think about it, there is
    almost tears im my eyes when i think about it.

    In such times i really think that i found the porpuse in life
    i want to have a baby :laugh:
    I want to have a little girl to take care of :tongue:
    I think i will call her Aprile, such a beautiful name!
    Oh god when i think about it it makes me feal so good, im really in heaven.

    For now i just wish i could find a girl who will accept me as who i am. :unsure:
    Cheers :laugh:
  2. demonhunter999

    demonhunter999 Well-Known Member

    From what I understand, children aren't all fun and games. Frankly, they can be little terrors that take a lot of your money, give you no peace and don't thank you. Oh yeah and when they do something bad it is like ur fault! Talk about hell versus heaven... Well I for one am glad I will never raise children :D
  3. Clockwork Reality

    Clockwork Reality Well-Known Member

    I kind of know how you feel. I'm 25 myself, and I was out at the store one day, just browsing around. I stand about 5'6", I'm not fat but not overly fit either. I keep my hair short and I like wearing black button-down shirts.

    This kid was browsing around, took one look at me, and ran to his father. His father said, "we have to go home," and the kid stated, "I want to look for more toys."

    The father looked at me, looked back at his kid, and said, "are you scared of him?"

    A little head bobbed up and down.

    "Well, if we don't go home now, I'll send you to live with him."

    The kid was silent, gripped his father's hand, and off they went.

    I had to laugh, but it's kind of depressing knowing that I'm being used to threaten children into behaving well. :laugh:
  4. demonhunter999

    demonhunter999 Well-Known Member

    that's horrible - it would have really hurt me if it happened to me
  5. Clockwork Reality

    Clockwork Reality Well-Known Member

    Well, it was a definate "wtf?" moment. Some things you just can't classify or explain.
  6. demonhunter999

    demonhunter999 Well-Known Member

    Well i would have taken it is an honest personal criticism, and one that really upsets. But then i am fat.
  7. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Well kids can be diffucult sometimes, i know that
    but i dont see it that way.
    Imagne that you could create your own image wihtout your problems
    Like god, who created Adam in his own image.

    I really want to have kids, this will be the only thing that will give
    me a porpuse in life. I will be forced to work so that i could support
    the baby, but i will be forced to work in a good way, and this is
    possitive and acceptble. I will shape the life of this baby
    so that he will be something i never could be.
    That way i will be happy not becouse of who i am
    but becouse of who i managed to rise and aducate.
    He will be like my own image but much better in any way possible.

    Long time ago, i had a phone call, it was a wrong numbare but..!
    There was a girl on the other side, when i answared the call
    the first thing i heard was "Hi dad..", and you just cant imagne
    the fealings i had in this moment. I knew it was a wrong number
    and said it to her, this was the end of it, but this moment
    will remain in my memoryes untill i will have my own girl to say "Hi dad" :)
  8. demonhunter999

    demonhunter999 Well-Known Member

    I am a little concerned you might set yourself up for a fall. I mean parents that live through their children are dependent on their children succeeding and meeting their aspirations. Reality isn't always like that though. And children will eventually leave the home. Nevertheless, you sound as if you would be dedicated :D And sure should give reasons for getting a job, etc. Remember there is a good chance you will get a boy instead of a girl. Or twins. Unless you adopt i guess.

    If children are right for you, go for it. They aren't for me :D
  9. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Children can be tough to controll and yes i know it can be a boy
    but still, i want kids :)
    The problem is that im 23 with no relations expiriance and with no gf
    so it is only a dream from me right now.
    But still i beliave that this can be my cure for my depression
    Even though i dont want much for myself
    i want the whole world for my kids :)
  10. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    It is good to know that you want children and can look at it with a sense of reality. There are many wonderful aspects in raising a child, but there are also many challenges. There are days you wonder why you ever wanted them, but then you look at them and who they are and realize that you really would not change them for the world. They are truly remarkable.
  11. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    Kids can be really 'bad' sometimes, but the moments of happiness you get with them are priceless.
    And one thing, I read that someone said that some kid was scared of him, scared of his look. Thats not true. The kids doesnt care how you look, the kid were not afraid of you, you were just a stranger for him, and probably his parents are saying him that strangers are bad. I look ugly, Im fat, but little kids like me, almost every one of them. If you asked some of the kids on the age 2-12 years old who know me, they will tell you that I am their best friend.
    And yes, I want to find the love of my life, and have children with her...
    And I have been in a lot situations like you describe, to see other people with kids, happy.... I want to be like them... I want to feel it... Tears are almost coming in my eyes when Im thinking of that or seeing that, to...
  12. Clockwork Reality

    Clockwork Reality Well-Known Member

    I know how Summer.Rain feels. I'd like to have a wife and children myself. Sometimes I feel pretty jealous when I'm out and I see families out pushing their children in strollers and seeing how happy they seem.

    I'm going home to see my folks in a few weeks and I've got a friend back in Florida who I've been talking with. I'm looking forward to taking her out on a date. :smile:
  13. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    Lovely post :)

    Glad to see a certain person under moderation, this one deserves it 100%. Told him it would not be long.
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