I've been sitting here for the last few hours,reading the posts. Can't think straight, my head hurts. I came here to help, but i can't.I thought if i could help someone, anyone, then maybe there was hope for me. Everything i say means nothing. I can't help anyone. I'm fucking socially awkward online and in real life. WTF is wrong with me. I felt soo much better this morning, was actually looking forward to the week ahead. But it dissapeared as quickly as it came, and now it's back. That feeling of utter futility. I don't want to die, i doubt if most people really do, i just want to escape, from my head and my heart. I don't know what i expected, health care proffessionals couldn't help me, why did i think anyone else could. Please don't reply to this with a smiley hugs, i really fucking hate that, it's like patting you on the head and saying "there,there". If you got nothing useful to say then please keep your empty platitudes to yourself. Time dosn't heal all wounds. Sorry guys not having a go at you, i just feel so fucking useless.